But, I'm used to being indulged!!

it's just me and the Ho-TUB!

2006-07-13T12:06:00.000-04:00

I haven’t done homework in essentially as long as I haven’t posted on my blog. And sitting in my favorite fourth floor study room thinking about the Crummey Trust problem set and the mountain of family law reading I have to do I thought I would update my blog. Just in the off chance someone is still reading it.

First and foremost: I cannot tell you WHERE – but suffice it to say I got a very special job at a medium sized (big for the location) firm in Hawai’i. So as of august 24 – if you’re writing to reach me – you’ll have to send it to the south pacific.

I have no idea where in hawai’i I’ll be living besides SOMEWHERE on Oahu. So if you have any suggestions or are in a position to help me, please please help me. I don’t think even paradise will assuage the grief of being homeless.

What else is new – I’m in class. I’m probably failing – but there’s no way to be certain at this point. I’m only eating cinnamon scones right now. I’m never hungry for anything – but every morning – it’s the only thing I want. FUCK cereal. And god bless ABP. Sometimes I get an egg and cheese. But I’m on a new kick where I don’t want to eat white bread all the time (ignore the scones) and so I wont let me have delicious eggie on a Kaiser roll – only wheat toast, and less face it – at that point – we’d all rather be eating the scone.

Jon’s moving soon – so I’m doing my best impression of a dedicated broker making a month’s fee in cold hard $$$, only for free and instead of thinking critically about my impending move to Hawai’i.

You know – I imagine when I get to hawai’i and I am ALL alone and living in the worst apartment known to god or man – that I will at least be blogging tons more. Something to look forward to, no doubt.

I’m lonely today. Very lonely. I anticipate a lonely weekend. Amanda’s going to Maryland, smasters will be in LI for a wedding. Sanni’s booked through and through with all sorts of junk (that I’m not interested in – by merit of the company she keeps when unsupervised.) so I think it looks like I’ll have the opportunity to stare blankly ahead from my living room. It feels like such waste – 7 weeks (I think) until I leave to be completely alone and I can’t even manage to do anything. Maybe I’ll see a movie.

today is my last day of work!!

2006-05-24T11:54:00.000-04:00

And as such is my last opportunity to be paid to blog for the foreseeable future. Classes start again on Tuesday and I’m a seeing them as a little bit dreadful, right now. The thing is, I’m moody. So I don’t like the idea of going back to school right now but I might like it a bit better in 15 minutes.

I dropped my phone in a glass of milk the other day. I wrote an email asking everyone who’s email addresses I had to send me their phone numbers, it went like this:

"dear beloved all,
i dropped my phone in a glass of milk last night. you're not going tobelieve this, but my pink phone was not milk proof and is now stickyand not working.
rather than ask me "how" i managed to "accidentally" drop my phone ina glass of milk, email me your phone number so i can call you from a pay phone and complain.
seriously though, i will not pick up phone calls if i don't know thenumber, and i can't call you. so if you'd ever like to hear my sweetsweet shrill voice again, pass along your digits.

best, jenni"

The award for funniest response goes to one paul sennot who (in the relevant parts) said:

"Dear Ms. Smith,
I realize that you have probably received 12 snarky email replies already; Iwill not write #13...although just so you aren't disappointed in me pleaseknow that I have at least 10 great jokes about this situation already (theypretty much write themselves).
I am sorry to hear about your phone. Cell phone problems totally suck andpayphones have germs.
A friend of mine works at sprint and can hook you upif you have/switch to sprint. Let me know and I can put you guys in touch.My number: XXX.XXX.XXXX

-p

P.s. Okay just one: I can also get you in touch with a guy who sells sippycups...the tops are super convenient for keeping phones and whatnot out ofyour milk and you can get them in pink. That or a switch to juice boxes isprobably your best bet.....Love uuuuuuu."

i bought a new phone, though, and AS SOON AS I figure out how to turn it on, i'll start calling people.

In other news, I’m gearing up for summer!! As such I was checking out neu’s “summester” calendar. (I love puns, you can’t quarrel with a great pun.) there is a bunch of SUPER FUN stuff coming up SOON, and I was excited, so I was asking jon if ANY of it interested him. That line of questioning resulted in me writing the following FABULOUS play:

your boyfriend no longer prefers your company.
a play in one act.

me: i have many many ideas for fun things we could do for cheap all summer long!!! (bounce bounce!!)
jon: but i am le tired, and the bus aggravates my gout!

-Fini-

that's just the way it happened too! anway. I’m sure we can have fun without aggravating his gout. back to le grind.

i could make you pay in pain, but i could never make you stay. not for all the tea in China.

2006-05-17T14:48:00.000-04:00

I want to go buy obscenely expensive mascara from macy*s. it’s that sort of day. I hate how my dissatisfaction with my circumstances melts my rage against capitalism. And I guess that’s a pretty good reason to worry about my commitment to my values.

Thank god for the magnetic fields. If it’s not acceptable to curl up under my desk at work, I at least like that I can listen to the musical equivalent of a hysterical breakdown. One week of work left.

Anyway the point is, I can’t go to macy*s. Sanni won’t go with me. She’s busy with her brief and only wants to go if she can return this thing (I say “this thing” because although we always talk about returning it, I actually have no idea what it is) she bought a million years a go that she doesn’t have with her today. So I cannot go at all because the danger of me having a hysterical breakdown in macy*s is high, and if you’re going to implode, you shouldn’t be wandering around alone in public. This is why we have the buddy system. The buddy system ensures that nobody melts down alone.

i could make a career of being blue, I could dress in black and read camus. smoke clove cigarettes and drink vermouth. Like I was seventeen.

In other news, I’ve decided the lower 48 bore me. And as such I will now be attempting to co-op in Alaska or Hawai’i. it doesn’t matter what kind of law, as long as it’s somewhere exotic. Clarita extended a kind invitation to host me at Berkley this fall. So that’s also in the cards. And California is someplace where I might actually consider living even though I’ve never been there. (artic-attorney-jenni or beach-attorney-jenni both aren’t very realistic)

I think that’s it. Smasters and I are going on an epic journey to the city together via bus. I’m splitting time between james and merissa. But there are plenty of citizens of the city that never sleeps that I would like to see. (That’s an open invitation to get in touch while I’m there.) and now i'm sure that's it.

Clown this

2006-05-15T13:43:00.000-04:00

i am obviously not on a road trip with one of the attnys since i am obviously blogging at work. So instead of having a little western mass dinner date tonight as previously alluded, i think i'll be going on a run with smasters tonight and then watching the INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT SEASON FINALE OF grey's anatomy. i would like to point out, however disingenuously, that the POINT of me watching grey's is to bond with my roommates. i don't actually enjoy medical soaps. or i do. and my entire life is a sham.

i had super fab weekend. i went to happy hour on friday and saw priti, jess and maria. so that was wonderful. and then i had a wonderful albeit rainy Saturday/Sunday on the cape. and then i rushed home to watch the first 1/2 of the incredible season finale of grey's anatomy. and i have to say. i'll be happy when the season is over. and we can put this whole obsessive tv watching for an hour on sunday behind us.

i think this: http://www.slate.com/id/2141711/ is the funniest thing i've ever read. i can't tell if it is or not. the 5 summers i spent at clown camp NO DOUBT inform my perception of the value of clown related things.

bounc! bounce bounce!!

2006-05-10T12:35:00.000-04:00

I used to do the once a day thing. Now it’s just once a week maybe. I was having a hectic morning, running around accomplishing things filing things and putting things in order. Subpoena SUBPOENA!!

Al the busyness is ODD, if only because while riding the soggy T this morning I thought I would have nothing to do all day today, and I could maybe get started on the back log of legal opinion letters that we “should have been” summarizing all this time. I also need to go to an unemployment hearing on Monday afternoon out in “Milford.” I just looked at a map. That is a dumb place to make me go. Maybe I can meet an unnamed emc employee for dinner in Hopkinton afterwards to be followed by some inappropriate touching in the Home Depot parking lot. We’ll see if we can have that arranged.

2006-05-03T14:57:00.000-04:00

In the fine tradition of recounting things that people tell me on gchat, a story from anna t. about being crazy in law school:

"Anna: oh man i forgot to tell you law school gossip so everyone's all stressy faceand our library has the ridiculous policy of not allowing food/drinks that aren't in travel mugs which sucks and people sneak coffee in all the time and then the library people find you and give you a hard time and then you have to throw it out and that sucks so this girl in my section this morning brings in dunkin iced coffe and the library guy is like "you can't birng that into the library" and she's like "F U! F U! I can bring in this coffee! I'm bringing it in!" and she goes to a cubicle and starts working and the guy comes over to her and is like "you need to throw that out" and, again with the F-word and then she THROWS THE COFFEE AT HIM. it hits his shoes (it was iced, no burns or anything) and he walks away and she goes back to work and then the DEANS and SECURITY come in and escort her outside they put a big yellow "caution" sign near her cubicle not before she starts bawling in the library and there are people cheering and chanting and screaming "KICK HER OUT! KICK HER OUT!" it was a mess and then she's outside crying for an hour with the deans because she doesn't want this to be on her record because disciplinary stuff might make you not able to be admitted to the bar or whateverso they just say she can't use the library for the rest of the semester. it's CRAZY. people are FLIPPING OUT."

oh to be young, and a one L!! i'd like to think we keep people like that OUT of the bar. but american loves assholes, so probably not.

if you're one of my real life frineds, ask me about the ass grabber on the train this morning. and come back tomorrow to read my tale of the cannibal fishes.

2006-05-02T12:10:00.000-04:00

i'm piss poor at updating this. i would like you to believe it is BECAUSE i am an exellent worker and cannot be bothered with my great internet romance with myself. So please please, believe that. PANDA, who had a has a birthday today,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PANDA!!!

Had a dream about me last night. Here is her account of it:

"So, ready for the dream? so you [jenni] were working for britney spears--doing pyrotechnics work for her. . .and she fucked something up. . .and she caught you on fire along with herself--well everyone went to help britney and no one went to help you. . .you were severely burned and i [panda] had to take care of you in the burn unit--u were in soo soo much pain. . .i woke up crying. . .it was terrible--there was nothing i could say to you--u would just cry and i was like well. . .at least ur face isnt burned and you still have your hair. terrible. . ."

and that is why from today forward we shall call panda, "the only one who loves me" because she saved me from britney.

who takes advice from a rabbit? a CARTOON rabbit?

2006-04-13T09:41:00.000-04:00

I met a little Yorkshire Terrier in starbucks this morning. And then I bought a totally indulgent quad venti toffee nut latte. (They had forgotten to make my whatever yesterday and rewarded me for my patience with “free drink coupon” and if I was buying I would have only purchased a misto, but since it was on starbucks, I went with overkill.) So I loved the Yorkshire, that’s the point of all this. He was so itty bitty, and named Napoleon. and when i got to work this morning i emailed breeders. because i like to email people about completely ridiculous purchases i might make.

I’m supposed to go home for Easter tomorrow night, but I’m wavering on it. It might be nice to not be in Boston for a few days (“might” might be an understatement), but I’m aggravated with my parents and really what’s the point of dragging all over to see people who you maybe don’t really want to see right now? who you could assume, maybe don't really want to see you? Speaking of parents, happy birthday daddy.

I went to get new fishes last night, I’ve been waiting around forever to get my tank in cycle and felt as if it might have been ready, but then the fish store was closed. They close at 6 on Wednesdays. I still don’t know how I feel about fish. I felt horrible when the last two died, but then again, I would maybe prefer to have a snuggly pet, not that what I would prefer is relevant, to anything.

april is the cruellest month

2006-04-04T11:15:00.000-04:00

We’re having a productivity problem at work today. I had every intention of getting to work on time and then cleaning my desk off. Tying up my loose ends. Filing my timesheets. (Log those working hours!) And just generally being AMAZING. But alas, it’s 11:06 and tick tick tick. I’m not being a very good workerbee.

IN contrast, I need to tell you. I’m not sure I like co-op. Everyone loves the after work free time. You get up, you go to work, and you come home. And the rest of the day and night is yours to squander. But I don’t have anything to do with my time. My room is immaculate. The bathroom (my primary cleaning responsibility) is spotless (and smells like delicious bleach). I’ve bought EVERYTHING I can afford within reason. My laundry is done. My dry cleaning’s been taken in. I have plans to go out three times this week, and have two highly important “grooming” appointments. But what do I do Wednesday night? I can’t lie, I hate law school. I think it’s a bore and a waste of time. But nothing beats the level of constant forced activity. If I’m not busy I’m not happy: fact.

So I need a hobby. I’m open to suggestions. I could volunteer somewhere? Like a hospital? (I’m sure there is a huge market for 24-year-old candy stripers) I could work at the Gap? I could join a sports team? I could practice the Roger Rabbit on my porch?

stupid stupid stupid

2006-04-03T16:34:00.000-04:00

I am developing an obsession, a distasteful obsession, with the way people become informed about "things." For example: "I learned about Native Americans from rage against the machine," or "Now that I've read Reading Lolita in Tehran I understand Iran. And women," or even, "All religion is bathed in conspiracy! Have you seen the movie STIGMATA??" Are all examples of sentences that compel me to spit blood. No worries though, I am seeking medical attention and attending a class to deal with the way popular culture informs stupidity. Don't get me wrong, I think it's good that people are interested in topics outside of their own immediate interests, but I am worried about the lack of perception of an author/producer/singer-songwriter's own bias. SO much of everything produced is written, sometimes unintentionally, with an agenda. So the "artists" views are unavoidable, but the willful blindness to those views is unacceptable .

this is NOT directed at you, clare, even though we had the kiterunner argument that "almost" ruined our friendship. (or not almost at all.) it's not directed at anyone is particular. it's just, from this moment forward, going to be my #1 pet peeve.

legal (wo)man

2006-04-03T10:52:00.000-04:00

I gave this up for a little bit. I would rather not tell you why I gave it up for a couple months, suffice it to say I did, and now I’m done not updating it.

I’m on one of the quarters in law school where they make us work at some legal job. (This way by the time you graduate you’re unquestionably certain that there is ABSOLUTELY nothing legal you would like to do. (No worries, though, there aren’t any jobs anyway, friend.))

Anyway, I work, I am at work. You would marvel at how productive I am. On the other side of the coin, I am learning a lot about labor, employment and education. And some of the ins and outs of administrative law.

This is a landmark week, if only because tomorrow I’m making a seasonal (drastic) change to my hair. And yes, I do think that changing my hair is significant. We’re also having amazingly good weather for Massachusetts. Looks like no more snow already. I suppose, though, that April is all about holding your breath waiting for the weather to have a serious change of heart. But still, nothing makes days nicer than having lunch in the park or being able to get away with skirts without stockings at work. (it’s unprofessional, but I’m not chilly, so who cares?) But then again, a run of nice weather can make a couple clouds and some showers even worse. It’s chilly today and I woke up sullen, so I got an extra delicious latte on my way to work in an attempt to brighten my spirits, but no luck.

Sanni has this NEW FANGLED (and half assed) idea (that she got from watching the Sopranos) that we should all start rowing. So if anyone is interested in jogging while carrying a boat and then trying to row the boat while some chippy bitch yells at you WITHOUT capsizing said boat, do let me know. We need 5 more people for our team. You need to be an okay swimmer and weigh at least a buck thirty. Thanks.
I think we have two things to look forward to: first, and most importantly, I’m going home for Easter to see my family. Second, I think we’re going to make a commitment to trivia nights on Tuesdays (9pm at the Asgard.)

to be an echo

2006-01-09T12:08:00.000-05:00

Sunday I took the bus back UNDISCLOSED TOP SECRET LOCATION and was bullshit that a strangerboy elected to sit in the seat next to me. (I was once entrapped in a conversation about nothing with a starry eyed 17 year old aspiring super hero on a 5 hour bus ride, and have been a little edgy about who sits next to me ever since.) Nevertheless, strangerboy sits down, doesn’t try to engage a conversation and I begin a uncomfortable busnap.

That should be the end of the story; I fell asleep on the bus, I woke up and I was home. However, at the rest stop, I woke up confused and hot from sleeping inside my coat. And strangerboy, eric, and I got into a 3 hour conversation about literally everything: infidelity, hyperactivity, why Michael Moore is a bullshit demi-god, grammar, pills, the necessity of compulsively washing dishes, why talking to people on the bus sucks, evolution & reproduction, geography, NPR, law students, evangelical redsox love, our mutual wildly inconsistent personalities and dairy products. All in all, if it hadn’t been on a bus AND we were both single, it would have been the best first date of my life.

From here I believe we have 2 talking points:

1. Why is it completely natural to be honest about every dirty little neurotic hang up with a complete stranger? And dear god, why should someone who doesn’t know me at all be able to sincerely express a greater than superficial understanding of the how and the why of my default settings when most (let’s be honest, all) of the people I’ve known for years and decades think I’m completely loony (evil)?

2. I live in a city, albeit a small city, and I always feel like I have no one to meet, and no way of meeting anyone who I would ever want to talk to regularly. (How would that feeling be compounded if I lived somewhere god forsaken, like small town Indiana? OR if I weren’t enrolled in school which, through shared experience, is an excellent way to meet people?) The majority of the time adding people to my life feels logistically impossible, but even if I had the time/energy/desire to acquire anyone, I always think I wouldn’t. But then every once in a while I come across someone wholly worthwhile. And it is nothing less than refreshing.

ghost hotel

2006-01-03T21:56:00.000-05:00

Happy birthday mommy.

Not that you read this, but dad might.

I have some very serious apple love going on right now, friends. i need to register my favorite object since I bought a very nice tea kettle with the apple care and protection plan so that when I drop it I can claim it has manufacturing defects. I also need to finish importing all of my many many cds. Right now the concentration on my computer is heavily Beatles. Which isn’t bad. It’s just that I don’t always want to randomly listen to Norwegian Wood. Actually, say what you will, I never want to listen to Norwegian Wood. But now I always can.

I returned Chuck to California today at 4 am. When he finally landed, around 3pm here, I was already exhausted. i’m sure he was much worse off from flying. I do hate planes. Was wonderful to see him as always. Looking forward to the day when he moves back to the correct coast so we can sit around being unhappy together more often.

New Year’s Eve, or First Night, as the natives call it, was an embarrassing shit show at best. Special thanks to our host Ms. Jimenez for her tolerance and indulgence. If anyone is interested in the remaining half of my beer ball (beer sphere, if you will) please let me know. Also in the future, everybody, keep telling me that I don’t need to overbuy beer. Thanks.

On the SUPERNEWS front: I got an interview with the Mass. Teachers’ Association! If you reread previous posts, you would know, that the Mass. Teachers’ Association WAS my first choice. o super good. 4 of the jobs I applied for posted interviews, 3 no lucks 1 interview and 6 left to go. Pretty good considering I’m not qualified to do anything remotely legal.

A bit grand for you isn’t it, Weaselbee?

2005-12-29T23:15:00.000-05:00

So I’m struggling with the concept that even if i had what i THOUGHT would make me happy, i would still be unhappy. Now liz phair has a song about this, and as I remember, the cheeky punch line is, in such case, the problem is you. (in this case you is me, not you. Are you following this? Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure everything is going to be okay. And if it isn’t you/i won’t be able to tell the difference.)

Who remembers when it was in vogue (during college – where everything absurd was socially acceptable and encouraged) to refer to people as “TLOML?” does anyone out there even know what that means? It was also okay to say things like “IHML!!” and “PPM!!” I was going somewhere with this story, but I’ve forgotten where.

I stopped actually keeping a journal a little while a go. Months really. (And public blog nonsense doesn’t really replace actual reflection. I can’t have you knowing what I’m actually thinking. That sort of transparency really ruins performance art.) However, I think not taking copious notes on life leaves me feeling a little frayed around the edges. Nothing a tune-up can’t fix! Unfortunately, I am not a car.

my mom is making me want to kill.

2005-12-27T13:25:00.000-05:00

Happy holidays everyone. i was doing a really good job of updating the blog and then I slowed down again. I assume the trick is I haven’t been doing (or avoiding) any homework so I haven’t been compelled to prattle on about nothing.

I will not even try to explain how my family made Christmas dysfunctional. Remember that rotweiler (sp?) my mom got? Well she weighs like 90 lbs and is getting vicious. I just pulled chapstick out of her jaws (apparently she thinks that blistex isn’t toxic.) I need to take a shower and get dressed so I can take my dad to the eye doctor. (he’s pretty much going blind in a spooky quick.) And then when his eyes are dilated and he can’t see force him to accompany me to the nail polish store. One thing I hate about VA is complete lack of pedicure giving establishments. Sigh. Better this way, mom and dad’s Midwestern values are offended by my high mateniance grooming habits.

I also got a nano. And now I will have to stop hating on everyone else’s APPLELOVE.

I’m reading 7 Types of Ambiguity. I think I love it.

there's something i need to tell you ...

2005-12-20T16:09:00.000-05:00

The award for the BEST thing anyone has called to my attention in recent weeks goes to chuck who sent me an Ecard from an LA based organization that promotes safe sex through Ecards that inform former partners that you may have given them a sexy sexually transmitted disease. The cards are super gay-centric. I think one says, “you’re too hot to be out of commission” and has a semi naked guy toweling off. AWESOME. Check it out here and send one to all your friends. Who needs xmas cards when you can send your friends ecards about “that time I gave you scabies.”?? ( http://www.inspotla.org/ )

that is all.

esquire

2005-12-15T18:56:00.000-05:00

Today I reorganized my email and condensed my labels into 10 workable labels instead of 1 million labels including old old labels for all my first year classes. (god bless gmail.)

Today I also went to school at 8 am, and then skipped all three of my classes. It was alike a personal day, but not really because I was still at school and profoundly unhappy.

My “urge to knit” is growing. I think it tops the chart of things I would rather do than school work. As a matter of fact the only way I can stop knitting is to go to school. My favorite thing about knitting is that it has made me understand the evangelical urge that people get with jesus. For example: I really want to teach Amanda to knit. And not because she needs a ridiculous hobby (though it would be cute if she made mr. nick st. jean a scarf or Louis a kittie sweater) BUT INSTEAD because I want her to know the joy that can only come from a personal relationship with yarn.

I made super duper hot chocolate from scratch last night. And I made GALLONS of it. So now we have a mason jar of hot chocolate in the refrigerator. I want to go home and drink it, but I can’t! I am stuck at school for a little eternity (unil I finish my fabulous work study job @11pm). I really can’t believe I even bothered to come to school today at all.

The one thing I did accomplish IS I applied to co-op positions for the spring quarter. Now it probably breaks the RULES of co-op to do this but I am going to list my job prospects (alphabetically):

Boston Public Health Commission
Fidelity UK (London)
EMC
Fisher, Law office of Chaz R.
Gilmartin, Magence & Ross
Krokidas & Bluestein
Mass. Division of Capital Asset Management
Mass. Teachers’ Association
O’Reilly, Law Office of Maureen
Sherin & Lodgen

(please note, this will be embarrassing later when I don’t get any of these jobs.)

My first choice would be (oddly?) the Mass Teacher’s Association. I would also really like to be paid to live in London for three months. With the obvious exception of the one in London they’re all in Boston. I think it makes real sense to stay here right now (I’m tired), even though there is a lot of pressure from the co-op office to leave boston if I don’t plan to WORK in boston. But since I’m not going to practice anyway it does not really matter at all what I do ever, or where I do it. Right?

The exception is the labor thing – apparently DC is labor/ union hot spot, so it might make sense to try to work in DC at least once (AND LIVE WITH MOM AND DAD!!) and get some serious labor experience, if that’s what we really think we might do. (assuming the whole ‘divorce people’/family law thing isn’t going to pan.)

Tomorrow (Friday) is official CHRISTMAS COOKIE day. I am going to get up, drive sarah to her FISRT law school exam, buy some butter, go to physical therapy, and then bake 6 types of cookies for the official “joy of baking” mailing that should happen tomorrow afternoon. I’m also going to do the x-mas cards tomorrow. Yay! Holiday joy! Yay!! Alright, more T&E now, and less less chatty chat chat. xox

mittens and kittens

2005-12-13T20:04:00.000-05:00

i do not believe i have ever neglected my blog so magnificently. and i would continue with my inattention i believe indefinitely, however i am positively swamped with school work, and nothing avoids work like mindless hobbies. and since i am at my FABULOUS library work study job and not at home to knit in bed or distract smasters form her school work, my third love, the long forgotten blog, can resume importance.

Philadelphia, co-op there in federal court for three months was wonderful (hindsight and rose colored glasses included). i learned a great deal, i got a stellar evaluation, i learned to walk AND (god help me) bend my completely uncooperative left leg with newly replaced ACL. I also lived (for the first time since that fabled and enchanted summer in Rochester) with one of the most important people in my life, miss jennifer kirsch. i also had the opportunity to become close to one sarah iler. someone who has always played a magnificent supporting role in my life, but one with whom i've never had the opportunity to be truly intimate. and it was a pleasure. and they both saved my life. again and again. and then again and again. but close calls are often the mortar of life long friendship. so i'm not only not complaining, i'm greatful. xoxo

the whole law school/ Boston/ Cambridge thing is back on. by some miracle (that defies expression with any sort of brevity but could accurately be described as perseverance) i avoided my third knee surgery this November and i am now hopping and skipping all over new England (with utmost care in the snow and ice, of course).

school is a drag, but after careful consideration, i think i prefer it to working which means i should start thinking of reality delaying graduate programs to pursue in fall 2007. i think i would make an excellent medical student. or astronaut. or ballerina. i might be MOST QUALIFIED to get an LLM, so maybe i will look into that.

i'm phasing out coffee in favor of sweet delicious tea. i prefer black chai, prince of wales or Irish breakfast - though only in a pinch.

i want new mittens. but i should be shopping for others, not myself. at least not until after Xmas. feliz navidad friends!

spooky goodtimes

2005-10-30T22:33:00.000-05:00

Ms. Sarah Iler woke me up at 6 am Saturday morning because a baby mouse got stuck on one of the sticky traps. ( we have mice. we also have a MOUSE TRAP variety that includes conventional break your head traps, sticky traps and bags of delicious poison. we also have sarah who is TERRIFIED OF RODENTS and jenn who IS TERRIFIED of DEAD ANIMALS (unless they’ve been cutely retooled into something fashionable). what this means is, I, by default, am MISTRESS OF THE MICE.

Anyway, Sarah apparently belongs in the mid 90s movie the GOOD SON because she wanted me to mix mouse poison with peanut butter and force-feed the baby mouse. (can you even imagine?) (Letting him off the sticky trap wasn’t an option because, clearly he would just sneak back inside and continue his diabolical plot to eat all of the goldfish snack crackers and destroy our lives.) So I had to drown him. in a coffee can.

And that, friends, was my first foray into murder. (unlike some of my friends, I never burned a shed full of puppies alive) I haven’t even killed a bug in years. (it’s part of my whole zen existence.) and baby mouse is certainly BY FAR the largest thing I’ve ever killed and I cried the whole time. But I’m sure I’m about 28 minutes away from joining a death metal band killing my friends and cooking and consuming their flesh. Hello serial murder, here I come.

the weekend is almost over. and even though fabulous daylight savings tacked a whole extra hour into it, I’m still not ready to go back to work. I love that I am PAYING $150,000 to learn how to do something that I DON’T EVEN LIKE.

Yes, Virginia: if you sacrifice your personal life and devote yourself single-mindedly to a career of whispering in the ears of the powerful, you, too

2005-10-19T19:57:00.000-04:00

So CLASSES are picked, real quick, I am registered for:

Seminar: The Legal Imagination
Seminar: Sexuality Gender and the Law
Seminar: Balancing Security and Liberty
Problems in Public Health Law
Immigration Law
Seminar: Professional Responsibility

I’m going to drop two. Which two remains to be seen. Hopefully sexuality and then either public health OR immigration. Do you like how it’s all seminars and no substance? Yeah. Me too. Fuck the bar. I takes what I likes. And I likes pirates. (Admiralty and maritime claims isn’t offered this quarter.)

I cut my hair today and I have BEAUTY QUEEN BANGS. Pretty awesome. That’s it. I went on about nothing last night, and registering was my big accomplishment. That and reading a Pennsylvania superior court case called “Northeastern Beaver.” not a lot going on. oxoxox

i expect a brace of bluebirds and singing dwarves at any moment ...

2005-10-18T22:48:00.000-04:00

Sarah took me to an itty bitty farmer’s market that was all organic and semi-Amish when she picked me up from ye ol’ court house of doom. we went late fall vegetable crazy, and stocked up, on yumminess and then made dinner. And except for a little kitchen fire caused by general unfamiliarity with this particular oven, we did really really well. Further, we resisted the temptation to buy expensive organic pumpkins, for carving purposes.

I’ve been thinking a lot about Christmas. For no reason. Except general tree and twinkling light fever. I think 251 pearl is going to have a tree this year. A grand tree, with pine-y goodness. And then we’re going to have a Christmas party to rival the great all night catastrophe I threw for amanda’s birthday. And hopefully someone will throw the Christmas tree off the back porch and we’ll be evicted, but we’ll be evicted memorably.

Work is going well. But then not so much. Yesterday one of the clerks gave me a patent claim to wade through. We’re only at the evidentiary stage, but with no IP training and ABSOLUTELY no technical background I’m drowning. Trying to sort through standards of review and all this Markman shit is driving me crazy. And I’m just so bored bored bored with it. But it’s important to learn new things. And the clerk who assigned it to me admitted that he has no IP background either. So he’s lost on the logistics right now too.

Meliora is this weekend. And I’m mixed on going. Rochester has lost a lot of its magical pull. And in a lot of ways it’s haunted. (Without clara can it really ever be the same?) I say I’m mixed, but I’m firm on going. And excited, for something familiar.

Last October, though, it was different, Rochester was home, and boston was a nightmare with law school and unfamiliarity. And now I’m smitten with Philadelphia, homesick for Boston and starting to regard Rochester like a jilted lover: it’s tense, but there are good memories. and it isn't as if other jenni (kirschykins) isn't going.

I keep saying that there is NO WAY they’ll confirm harriet miers next month. But I should be clear. There is no way I would confirm her. God knows what the powers that be will really do. They certainly don’t take their cues from me.

And then finally the knee thing. While we had a really good Monday, the knee, as it is a completely separate and alien thing these days, had a really bad day today with swelling and limping and the like. A real shame because today was our solitary weekday without physical therapy. and that's it. i'm writing while bath fresh, and i have to stretch out aforementioned knee and then miss iler and i have a tv date with some tea and pumpkin pie.

teetoller

2005-10-06T20:03:00.000-04:00

I’ve been thinking about my theory about how drinking is a waste of time. Every time I have an alcoholic beverage I get hung up on the fact that the reason it is fun is largely a result NOT of the company with which I acquire said beverage, but instead, because alcohol keeps my brain from receiving enough oxygen. And that makes it less fun. (I know it seems unbelievable, especially if I’ve ever thrown up on you, but I’m obsessed with the idea that drinking is dumb). So drinking might not be permanently detrimental, but it seems kind of blatantly pointless, except that it’s pleasurable. Am I right?

The problem with my teetolling theory is that i recently challenged myself (intellectually!! Not in practice!!) to extend it’s logic across the board. And do you know what the first stupid-pointless-outside-of-sheer-pleasure activity that sprung to mind was? SEX. (Not baby making sex. Babymakingsex is clearly goal orientated.) But regular young adult sex, with birthcontrol, is literally just the frantic, pointless humping of a literal glory hole.

but it feels so good. doesn't it?

So in conclusion: pleasure for pleasure’s sake is okay, even if it requires 6 beers, or tying a plastic bag over your head while you rub one out.

Uno!!

2005-10-06T19:23:00.000-04:00

Last night kc emailed me at the comcast account that I never use, but she told me about the email, and as a result, I checked my Comcast email. And you know what? Sometimes people email me there, and that’s pretty fucking AWESOME.

I am really really really very dehydrated and would like some water. i know, the easy answer would be to go get some, but I’m upstairs in Kirsch’s room and I am moderately crippled, so go screw. PS, I can do stairs without crutches. Beat that asstard. Beat it. I went to pt this morning, and my pt lady who sometimes treats me like she wants to make out and sometimes treats me like I’m her very stupid very slow at improving daughter said my knee looked very very impressive for where she thought I would be. (the way she treats me is linked suspiciously to what I’m wearing. Sweatpantaloons = indifferent patronizing, trashy Hawaii booty shorts (of course I wear them in public, and I wear them with pride) = objectified.

Of course I’m imagining her advances, all the bending and rubbing is clearly therapeutic.

Enough about my decrippleification.

I just went and fixed the hydration problem, but I wish while I was down there I had thought to bring a cd up here. Like I said, I’m hiding out in Jennifer M. Kirsch’s room and I’m searching through her computer for something to listen to and my choices are slipknot or tori. Neither appeals. j.kirsch is the world’s most amazing person, but I will not hesitate to fault her musical taste, she has none. She unfortunately reads this. don’t be angry baby, I still love you the most.

Kc mentioned in her email that my blog is shockingly a-political. And that’s true. But what’s super odd about that isn’t that I’ve forgotten to be obsessive and hungry for world news, on the contrary, I’m currently reading, newspapers at least, more than ever as I diligently avoid actually working while at internship. (I know enough about H. Meirs to make you cry tears of blood.) what’s truly odd is, I’m not interested in telling you about it.

Sidebar: I do support term limits for supreme court justices. (18 years sounds good, the founding father’s did not anticipate our barely breathing court: in 1777 old was 46. dead was 60.) And it isn’t just because little baby JG Roberts is going to rot on the highest bench for 45 years, it’s because look at these fuckers, they look like shit. And they should be convalescing and not nauseating hot shot litigators with their old & decrepitness.

Finally, in court today I watched plaintiff’s counsel struggle to come up with a reason to exclude a huge pile of largely irrelevant evidence. And all I wanted to do was whisper "403(b)!!" (confusing, prejudical, waste of time). His poor client is paying him and he’s going to loose. And it breaks my heart. I’m not saying I could have litigated this claim successfully (constitutional torts, tricky tricky). But this man passed the bar, or so he claims, but he appears to have no actual legal experience. I keep hoping that he’s actually the archetypical bumbling lawyer, and he’s not actually incompetent, he’s just duping me (and the jury) and any minute now he’ll jump on it and impress me with naïve brilliance. I doubt it.

2005-10-05T22:54:00.000-04:00

THIS IS AWESOME, and we must give credit to anna T, newyork's brightest lawschoolstar for calling my attention to it. (note: smasters is Massachusetts's brightest LAWSTAR).

What’s up douchebag redsox? Stop being losers. Thanks. It’s so funny, when I live in Massachusetts I HATE the redsox. But when I’m out of town, I like to cheer them on. Like when I lived in the ROC senior year I loved the baseball playoffs (because watching baseball meant not studying for the LSAT). remember when don zimmer got clotheslined? That was beautiful. But then i actually lived in boston (red sox nation? don't you mean red sox regional love? why do you get to be a nation? WHY?) I wanted to kill all sox fans everywhere. they ruined it for me. And now here we are in Philadelphia, and I’m back on board. Too bad no cubs. I could cheer for cubs.

This is a column from the 2001 Yale Daily that covers blow job etiquette. Now when I heard blow job etiquette I thought FOR SURE we were going to be talking about the "pre ejaculatory heads up," but no, friend. Apparently the only issue in blowing "dos" and "don’ts" is SPIT or SWALLOW. Which just proves that undergraduate girls don’t know shit. Now girls in law school, they know blow jobs . . . **oh, and if you read the whole thing you’ll see that apparently SOMEONE had cum come out their nose when they swallowed, and i know someone who that happened to, poor dear. And baby, you’re not alone.**

Because it’s October, things are heating up in the court where I work. (summer is finally over?) I’m super tempted to go at length about the cool things I see in court, (translators who are so old they can’t hear, lawyers who blow cases on opening argument) but I feel like they were serious about things being confidential. One thing is for sure: I don’t want to be a real lawyer. This is better than school, and law clerk is a low stress high prestige course of action, but Jesus, Boring. Boring boring. Or maybe I just suffer from crippling attention deficit disorder.

Today I bought myself a subscription to Atlantic Monthly because in PT the lady said my knee looked BETTER than she’s EVER seen it. (She also said she was going to break a bottle of champagne over my ass when I could touch my heel to my butt. (yes she is a lesbian. yes she thinks i'm gay too.)) if I continue working hard and moving forward, for the rest of the week I am going to buy myself a new haircut, and a trip to brazil next week (even though the wax lady is in boston, and I will have to have a new stranger go-to-town on my crotch). I know all this seems ridiculous, but fuck you. You likely have no idea. I’m trying really hard. And I deserve tangible rewards. Sometimes walking without lurching just isn’t enough.

2005-10-03T20:00:00.000-04:00

I just made a picture of the new supreme court my desktop. Why? Because I am AWESOME. And your desk top is lame. And I had to change the picture of kirstie alley that chuck but up as a joke weeks a go.

So. Long time no talk bloggityblogblog. I want to tell you that nothings been doing and nothing was missed. But that would be deceitful. I moved to Philadelphia, and my problems and woes did not magically dissolve once I reached a different little old city. In fact they might have multiplied.

Work is fine, the people in my office are nice, the things I do are interesting. I enjoy not being in school. Sometimes I think about school fondly. I’m sure some evaluations mailed to my house will ruin school nostalgia.

Chuck came down from san diego to Philadelphia and that was wonderful because he is generally amazing.

However, the knee I went to considerable length to have FIXED is shot to shit. I missed a week of work last week to go up to Boston to have more knee surgery and patch up the blood related complications I’ve been having. Everything hurts and I’m having trouble walking. I ruined chuck’s trip to the east coast by crying. I am lucky to have him, (and sarah and jenn).

I’m frustrated, that nothing, even things that we anticipate will be difficult is ever as easy as we hope. I’m even more frustrated that there is a long and difficult road between me and walking and bending at 100%. Or 120 degrees.

For the most part though, everyone has been wonderful. And I’ back in Philadelphia as of today to start back at work tomorrow. And 80% of this is just believing that everything will be alright, and pushing forward. Because no matter how things turn out, you don’t know the alternatives. You’re stuck with where you are, alright turns into the only thing you know. No matter what it is.