But, I'm used to being indulged!!

it's just me and the Ho-TUB!

2006-07-13T12:06:00.000-04:00

I haven’t done homework in essentially as long as I haven’t posted on my blog. And sitting in my favorite fourth floor study room thinking about the Crummey Trust problem set and the mountain of family law reading I have to do I thought I would update my blog. Just in the off chance someone is still reading it.

First and foremost: I cannot tell you WHERE – but suffice it to say I got a very special job at a medium sized (big for the location) firm in Hawai’i. So as of august 24 – if you’re writing to reach me – you’ll have to send it to the south pacific.

I have no idea where in hawai’i I’ll be living besides SOMEWHERE on Oahu. So if you have any suggestions or are in a position to help me, please please help me. I don’t think even paradise will assuage the grief of being homeless.

What else is new – I’m in class. I’m probably failing – but there’s no way to be certain at this point. I’m only eating cinnamon scones right now. I’m never hungry for anything – but every morning – it’s the only thing I want. FUCK cereal. And god bless ABP. Sometimes I get an egg and cheese. But I’m on a new kick where I don’t want to eat white bread all the time (ignore the scones) and so I wont let me have delicious eggie on a Kaiser roll – only wheat toast, and less face it – at that point – we’d all rather be eating the scone.

Jon’s moving soon – so I’m doing my best impression of a dedicated broker making a month’s fee in cold hard $$$, only for free and instead of thinking critically about my impending move to Hawai’i.

You know – I imagine when I get to hawai’i and I am ALL alone and living in the worst apartment known to god or man – that I will at least be blogging tons more. Something to look forward to, no doubt.

I’m lonely today. Very lonely. I anticipate a lonely weekend. Amanda’s going to Maryland, smasters will be in LI for a wedding. Sanni’s booked through and through with all sorts of junk (that I’m not interested in – by merit of the company she keeps when unsupervised.) so I think it looks like I’ll have the opportunity to stare blankly ahead from my living room. It feels like such waste – 7 weeks (I think) until I leave to be completely alone and I can’t even manage to do anything. Maybe I’ll see a movie.

today is my last day of work!!

2006-05-24T11:54:00.000-04:00

And as such is my last opportunity to be paid to blog for the foreseeable future. Classes start again on Tuesday and I’m a seeing them as a little bit dreadful, right now. The thing is, I’m moody. So I don’t like the idea of going back to school right now but I might like it a bit better in 15 minutes.

I dropped my phone in a glass of milk the other day. I wrote an email asking everyone who’s email addresses I had to send me their phone numbers, it went like this:

"dear beloved all,
i dropped my phone in a glass of milk last night. you're not going tobelieve this, but my pink phone was not milk proof and is now stickyand not working.
rather than ask me "how" i managed to "accidentally" drop my phone ina glass of milk, email me your phone number so i can call you from a pay phone and complain.
seriously though, i will not pick up phone calls if i don't know thenumber, and i can't call you. so if you'd ever like to hear my sweetsweet shrill voice again, pass along your digits.

best, jenni"

The award for funniest response goes to one paul sennot who (in the relevant parts) said:

"Dear Ms. Smith,
I realize that you have probably received 12 snarky email replies already; Iwill not write #13...although just so you aren't disappointed in me pleaseknow that I have at least 10 great jokes about this situation already (theypretty much write themselves).
I am sorry to hear about your phone. Cell phone problems totally suck andpayphones have germs.
A friend of mine works at sprint and can hook you upif you have/switch to sprint. Let me know and I can put you guys in touch.My number: XXX.XXX.XXXX

-p

P.s. Okay just one: I can also get you in touch with a guy who sells sippycups...the tops are super convenient for keeping phones and whatnot out ofyour milk and you can get them in pink. That or a switch to juice boxes isprobably your best bet.....Love uuuuuuu."

i bought a new phone, though, and AS SOON AS I figure out how to turn it on, i'll start calling people.

In other news, I’m gearing up for summer!! As such I was checking out neu’s “summester” calendar. (I love puns, you can’t quarrel with a great pun.) there is a bunch of SUPER FUN stuff coming up SOON, and I was excited, so I was asking jon if ANY of it interested him. That line of questioning resulted in me writing the following FABULOUS play:

your boyfriend no longer prefers your company.
a play in one act.

me: i have many many ideas for fun things we could do for cheap all summer long!!! (bounce bounce!!)
jon: but i am le tired, and the bus aggravates my gout!

-Fini-

that's just the way it happened too! anway. I’m sure we can have fun without aggravating his gout. back to le grind.

i could make you pay in pain, but i could never make you stay. not for all the tea in China.

2006-05-17T14:48:00.000-04:00

I want to go buy obscenely expensive mascara from macy*s. it’s that sort of day. I hate how my dissatisfaction with my circumstances melts my rage against capitalism. And I guess that’s a pretty good reason to worry about my commitment to my values.

Thank god for the magnetic fields. If it’s not acceptable to curl up under my desk at work, I at least like that I can listen to the musical equivalent of a hysterical breakdown. One week of work left.

Anyway the point is, I can’t go to macy*s. Sanni won’t go with me. She’s busy with her brief and only wants to go if she can return this thing (I say “this thing” because although we always talk about returning it, I actually have no idea what it is) she bought a million years a go that she doesn’t have with her today. So I cannot go at all because the danger of me having a hysterical breakdown in macy*s is high, and if you’re going to implode, you shouldn’t be wandering around alone in public. This is why we have the buddy system. The buddy system ensures that nobody melts down alone.

i could make a career of being blue, I could dress in black and read camus. smoke clove cigarettes and drink vermouth. Like I was seventeen.

In other news, I’ve decided the lower 48 bore me. And as such I will now be attempting to co-op in Alaska or Hawai’i. it doesn’t matter what kind of law, as long as it’s somewhere exotic. Clarita extended a kind invitation to host me at Berkley this fall. So that’s also in the cards. And California is someplace where I might actually consider living even though I’ve never been there. (artic-attorney-jenni or beach-attorney-jenni both aren’t very realistic)

I think that’s it. Smasters and I are going on an epic journey to the city together via bus. I’m splitting time between james and merissa. But there are plenty of citizens of the city that never sleeps that I would like to see. (That’s an open invitation to get in touch while I’m there.) and now i'm sure that's it.

Clown this

2006-05-15T13:43:00.000-04:00

i am obviously not on a road trip with one of the attnys since i am obviously blogging at work. So instead of having a little western mass dinner date tonight as previously alluded, i think i'll be going on a run with smasters tonight and then watching the INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT SEASON FINALE OF grey's anatomy. i would like to point out, however disingenuously, that the POINT of me watching grey's is to bond with my roommates. i don't actually enjoy medical soaps. or i do. and my entire life is a sham.

i had super fab weekend. i went to happy hour on friday and saw priti, jess and maria. so that was wonderful. and then i had a wonderful albeit rainy Saturday/Sunday on the cape. and then i rushed home to watch the first 1/2 of the incredible season finale of grey's anatomy. and i have to say. i'll be happy when the season is over. and we can put this whole obsessive tv watching for an hour on sunday behind us.

i think this: http://www.slate.com/id/2141711/ is the funniest thing i've ever read. i can't tell if it is or not. the 5 summers i spent at clown camp NO DOUBT inform my perception of the value of clown related things.

bounc! bounce bounce!!

2006-05-10T12:35:00.000-04:00

I used to do the once a day thing. Now it’s just once a week maybe. I was having a hectic morning, running around accomplishing things filing things and putting things in order. Subpoena SUBPOENA!!

Al the busyness is ODD, if only because while riding the soggy T this morning I thought I would have nothing to do all day today, and I could maybe get started on the back log of legal opinion letters that we “should have been” summarizing all this time. I also need to go to an unemployment hearing on Monday afternoon out in “Milford.” I just looked at a map. That is a dumb place to make me go. Maybe I can meet an unnamed emc employee for dinner in Hopkinton afterwards to be followed by some inappropriate touching in the Home Depot parking lot. We’ll see if we can have that arranged.

2006-05-03T14:57:00.000-04:00

In the fine tradition of recounting things that people tell me on gchat, a story from anna t. about being crazy in law school:

"Anna: oh man i forgot to tell you law school gossip so everyone's all stressy faceand our library has the ridiculous policy of not allowing food/drinks that aren't in travel mugs which sucks and people sneak coffee in all the time and then the library people find you and give you a hard time and then you have to throw it out and that sucks so this girl in my section this morning brings in dunkin iced coffe and the library guy is like "you can't birng that into the library" and she's like "F U! F U! I can bring in this coffee! I'm bringing it in!" and she goes to a cubicle and starts working and the guy comes over to her and is like "you need to throw that out" and, again with the F-word and then she THROWS THE COFFEE AT HIM. it hits his shoes (it was iced, no burns or anything) and he walks away and she goes back to work and then the DEANS and SECURITY come in and escort her outside they put a big yellow "caution" sign near her cubicle not before she starts bawling in the library and there are people cheering and chanting and screaming "KICK HER OUT! KICK HER OUT!" it was a mess and then she's outside crying for an hour with the deans because she doesn't want this to be on her record because disciplinary stuff might make you not able to be admitted to the bar or whateverso they just say she can't use the library for the rest of the semester. it's CRAZY. people are FLIPPING OUT."

oh to be young, and a one L!! i'd like to think we keep people like that OUT of the bar. but american loves assholes, so probably not.

if you're one of my real life frineds, ask me about the ass grabber on the train this morning. and come back tomorrow to read my tale of the cannibal fishes.

2006-05-02T12:10:00.000-04:00

i'm piss poor at updating this. i would like you to believe it is BECAUSE i am an exellent worker and cannot be bothered with my great internet romance with myself. So please please, believe that. PANDA, who had a has a birthday today,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PANDA!!!

Had a dream about me last night. Here is her account of it:

"So, ready for the dream? so you [jenni] were working for britney spears--doing pyrotechnics work for her. . .and she fucked something up. . .and she caught you on fire along with herself--well everyone went to help britney and no one went to help you. . .you were severely burned and i [panda] had to take care of you in the burn unit--u were in soo soo much pain. . .i woke up crying. . .it was terrible--there was nothing i could say to you--u would just cry and i was like well. . .at least ur face isnt burned and you still have your hair. terrible. . ."

and that is why from today forward we shall call panda, "the only one who loves me" because she saved me from britney.

who takes advice from a rabbit? a CARTOON rabbit?

2006-04-13T09:41:00.000-04:00

I met a little Yorkshire Terrier in starbucks this morning. And then I bought a totally indulgent quad venti toffee nut latte. (They had forgotten to make my whatever yesterday and rewarded me for my patience with “free drink coupon” and if I was buying I would have only purchased a misto, but since it was on starbucks, I went with overkill.) So I loved the Yorkshire, that’s the point of all this. He was so itty bitty, and named Napoleon. and when i got to work this morning i emailed breeders. because i like to email people about completely ridiculous purchases i might make.

I’m supposed to go home for Easter tomorrow night, but I’m wavering on it. It might be nice to not be in Boston for a few days (“might” might be an understatement), but I’m aggravated with my parents and really what’s the point of dragging all over to see people who you maybe don’t really want to see right now? who you could assume, maybe don't really want to see you? Speaking of parents, happy birthday daddy.

I went to get new fishes last night, I’ve been waiting around forever to get my tank in cycle and felt as if it might have been ready, but then the fish store was closed. They close at 6 on Wednesdays. I still don’t know how I feel about fish. I felt horrible when the last two died, but then again, I would maybe prefer to have a snuggly pet, not that what I would prefer is relevant, to anything.

april is the cruellest month

2006-04-04T11:15:00.000-04:00

We’re having a productivity problem at work today. I had every intention of getting to work on time and then cleaning my desk off. Tying up my loose ends. Filing my timesheets. (Log those working hours!) And just generally being AMAZING. But alas, it’s 11:06 and tick tick tick. I’m not being a very good workerbee.

IN contrast, I need to tell you. I’m not sure I like co-op. Everyone loves the after work free time. You get up, you go to work, and you come home. And the rest of the day and night is yours to squander. But I don’t have anything to do with my time. My room is immaculate. The bathroom (my primary cleaning responsibility) is spotless (and smells like delicious bleach). I’ve bought EVERYTHING I can afford within reason. My laundry is done. My dry cleaning’s been taken in. I have plans to go out three times this week, and have two highly important “grooming” appointments. But what do I do Wednesday night? I can’t lie, I hate law school. I think it’s a bore and a waste of time. But nothing beats the level of constant forced activity. If I’m not busy I’m not happy: fact.

So I need a hobby. I’m open to suggestions. I could volunteer somewhere? Like a hospital? (I’m sure there is a huge market for 24-year-old candy stripers) I could work at the Gap? I could join a sports team? I could practice the Roger Rabbit on my porch?

stupid stupid stupid

2006-04-03T16:34:00.000-04:00

I am developing an obsession, a distasteful obsession, with the way people become informed about "things." For example: "I learned about Native Americans from rage against the machine," or "Now that I've read Reading Lolita in Tehran I understand Iran. And women," or even, "All religion is bathed in conspiracy! Have you seen the movie STIGMATA??" Are all examples of sentences that compel me to spit blood. No worries though, I am seeking medical attention and attending a class to deal with the way popular culture informs stupidity. Don't get me wrong, I think it's good that people are interested in topics outside of their own immediate interests, but I am worried about the lack of perception of an author/producer/singer-songwriter's own bias. SO much of everything produced is written, sometimes unintentionally, with an agenda. So the "artists" views are unavoidable, but the willful blindness to those views is unacceptable .

this is NOT directed at you, clare, even though we had the kiterunner argument that "almost" ruined our friendship. (or not almost at all.) it's not directed at anyone is particular. it's just, from this moment forward, going to be my #1 pet peeve.

legal (wo)man

2006-04-03T10:52:00.000-04:00

I gave this up for a little bit. I would rather not tell you why I gave it up for a couple months, suffice it to say I did, and now I’m done not updating it.

I’m on one of the quarters in law school where they make us work at some legal job. (This way by the time you graduate you’re unquestionably certain that there is ABSOLUTELY nothing legal you would like to do. (No worries, though, there aren’t any jobs anyway, friend.))

Anyway, I work, I am at work. You would marvel at how productive I am. On the other side of the coin, I am learning a lot about labor, employment and education. And some of the ins and outs of administrative law.

This is a landmark week, if only because tomorrow I’m making a seasonal (drastic) change to my hair. And yes, I do think that changing my hair is significant. We’re also having amazingly good weather for Massachusetts. Looks like no more snow already. I suppose, though, that April is all about holding your breath waiting for the weather to have a serious change of heart. But still, nothing makes days nicer than having lunch in the park or being able to get away with skirts without stockings at work. (it’s unprofessional, but I’m not chilly, so who cares?) But then again, a run of nice weather can make a couple clouds and some showers even worse. It’s chilly today and I woke up sullen, so I got an extra delicious latte on my way to work in an attempt to brighten my spirits, but no luck.

Sanni has this NEW FANGLED (and half assed) idea (that she got from watching the Sopranos) that we should all start rowing. So if anyone is interested in jogging while carrying a boat and then trying to row the boat while some chippy bitch yells at you WITHOUT capsizing said boat, do let me know. We need 5 more people for our team. You need to be an okay swimmer and weigh at least a buck thirty. Thanks.
I think we have two things to look forward to: first, and most importantly, I’m going home for Easter to see my family. Second, I think we’re going to make a commitment to trivia nights on Tuesdays (9pm at the Asgard.)

to be an echo

2006-01-09T12:08:00.000-05:00

Sunday I took the bus back UNDISCLOSED TOP SECRET LOCATION and was bullshit that a strangerboy elected to sit in the seat next to me. (I was once entrapped in a conversation about nothing with a starry eyed 17 year old aspiring super hero on a 5 hour bus ride, and have been a little edgy about who sits next to me ever since.) Nevertheless, strangerboy sits down, doesn’t try to engage a conversation and I begin a uncomfortable busnap.

That should be the end of the story; I fell asleep on the bus, I woke up and I was home. However, at the rest stop, I woke up confused and hot from sleeping inside my coat. And strangerboy, eric, and I got into a 3 hour conversation about literally everything: infidelity, hyperactivity, why Michael Moore is a bullshit demi-god, grammar, pills, the necessity of compulsively washing dishes, why talking to people on the bus sucks, evolution & reproduction, geography, NPR, law students, evangelical redsox love, our mutual wildly inconsistent personalities and dairy products. All in all, if it hadn’t been on a bus AND we were both single, it would have been the best first date of my life.

From here I believe we have 2 talking points:

1. Why is it completely natural to be honest about every dirty little neurotic hang up with a complete stranger? And dear god, why should someone who doesn’t know me at all be able to sincerely express a greater than superficial understanding of the how and the why of my default settings when most (let’s be honest, all) of the people I’ve known for years and decades think I’m completely loony (evil)?

2. I live in a city, albeit a small city, and I always feel like I have no one to meet, and no way of meeting anyone who I would ever want to talk to regularly. (How would that feeling be compounded if I lived somewhere god forsaken, like small town Indiana? OR if I weren’t enrolled in school which, through shared experience, is an excellent way to meet people?) The majority of the time adding people to my life feels logistically impossible, but even if I had the time/energy/desire to acquire anyone, I always think I wouldn’t. But then every once in a while I come across someone wholly worthwhile. And it is nothing less than refreshing.

ghost hotel

2006-01-03T21:56:00.000-05:00

Happy birthday mommy.

Not that you read this, but dad might.

I have some very serious apple love going on right now, friends. i need to register my favorite object since I bought a very nice tea kettle with the apple care and protection plan so that when I drop it I can claim it has manufacturing defects. I also need to finish importing all of my many many cds. Right now the concentration on my computer is heavily Beatles. Which isn’t bad. It’s just that I don’t always want to randomly listen to Norwegian Wood. Actually, say what you will, I never want to listen to Norwegian Wood. But now I always can.

I returned Chuck to California today at 4 am. When he finally landed, around 3pm here, I was already exhausted. i’m sure he was much worse off from flying. I do hate planes. Was wonderful to see him as always. Looking forward to the day when he moves back to the correct coast so we can sit around being unhappy together more often.

New Year’s Eve, or First Night, as the natives call it, was an embarrassing shit show at best. Special thanks to our host Ms. Jimenez for her tolerance and indulgence. If anyone is interested in the remaining half of my beer ball (beer sphere, if you will) please let me know. Also in the future, everybody, keep telling me that I don’t need to overbuy beer. Thanks.

On the SUPERNEWS front: I got an interview with the Mass. Teachers’ Association! If you reread previous posts, you would know, that the Mass. Teachers’ Association WAS my first choice. o super good. 4 of the jobs I applied for posted interviews, 3 no lucks 1 interview and 6 left to go. Pretty good considering I’m not qualified to do anything remotely legal.

A bit grand for you isn’t it, Weaselbee?

2005-12-29T23:15:00.000-05:00

So I’m struggling with the concept that even if i had what i THOUGHT would make me happy, i would still be unhappy. Now liz phair has a song about this, and as I remember, the cheeky punch line is, in such case, the problem is you. (in this case you is me, not you. Are you following this? Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure everything is going to be okay. And if it isn’t you/i won’t be able to tell the difference.)

Who remembers when it was in vogue (during college – where everything absurd was socially acceptable and encouraged) to refer to people as “TLOML?” does anyone out there even know what that means? It was also okay to say things like “IHML!!” and “PPM!!” I was going somewhere with this story, but I’ve forgotten where.

I stopped actually keeping a journal a little while a go. Months really. (And public blog nonsense doesn’t really replace actual reflection. I can’t have you knowing what I’m actually thinking. That sort of transparency really ruins performance art.) However, I think not taking copious notes on life leaves me feeling a little frayed around the edges. Nothing a tune-up can’t fix! Unfortunately, I am not a car.

my mom is making me want to kill.

2005-12-27T13:25:00.000-05:00

Happy holidays everyone. i was doing a really good job of updating the blog and then I slowed down again. I assume the trick is I haven’t been doing (or avoiding) any homework so I haven’t been compelled to prattle on about nothing.

I will not even try to explain how my family made Christmas dysfunctional. Remember that rotweiler (sp?) my mom got? Well she weighs like 90 lbs and is getting vicious. I just pulled chapstick out of her jaws (apparently she thinks that blistex isn’t toxic.) I need to take a shower and get dressed so I can take my dad to the eye doctor. (he’s pretty much going blind in a spooky quick.) And then when his eyes are dilated and he can’t see force him to accompany me to the nail polish store. One thing I hate about VA is complete lack of pedicure giving establishments. Sigh. Better this way, mom and dad’s Midwestern values are offended by my high mateniance grooming habits.

I also got a nano. And now I will have to stop hating on everyone else’s APPLELOVE.

I’m reading 7 Types of Ambiguity. I think I love it.

there's something i need to tell you ...

2005-12-20T16:09:00.000-05:00

The award for the BEST thing anyone has called to my attention in recent weeks goes to chuck who sent me an Ecard from an LA based organization that promotes safe sex through Ecards that inform former partners that you may have given them a sexy sexually transmitted disease. The cards are super gay-centric. I think one says, “you’re too hot to be out of commission” and has a semi naked guy toweling off. AWESOME. Check it out here and send one to all your friends. Who needs xmas cards when you can send your friends ecards about “that time I gave you scabies.”?? ( http://www.inspotla.org/ )

that is all.

esquire

2005-12-15T18:56:00.000-05:00

Today I reorganized my email and condensed my labels into 10 workable labels instead of 1 million labels including old old labels for all my first year classes. (god bless gmail.)

Today I also went to school at 8 am, and then skipped all three of my classes. It was alike a personal day, but not really because I was still at school and profoundly unhappy.

My “urge to knit” is growing. I think it tops the chart of things I would rather do than school work. As a matter of fact the only way I can stop knitting is to go to school. My favorite thing about knitting is that it has made me understand the evangelical urge that people get with jesus. For example: I really want to teach Amanda to knit. And not because she needs a ridiculous hobby (though it would be cute if she made mr. nick st. jean a scarf or Louis a kittie sweater) BUT INSTEAD because I want her to know the joy that can only come from a personal relationship with yarn.

I made super duper hot chocolate from scratch last night. And I made GALLONS of it. So now we have a mason jar of hot chocolate in the refrigerator. I want to go home and drink it, but I can’t! I am stuck at school for a little eternity (unil I finish my fabulous work study job @11pm). I really can’t believe I even bothered to come to school today at all.

The one thing I did accomplish IS I applied to co-op positions for the spring quarter. Now it probably breaks the RULES of co-op to do this but I am going to list my job prospects (alphabetically):

Boston Public Health Commission
Fidelity UK (London)
EMC
Fisher, Law office of Chaz R.
Gilmartin, Magence & Ross
Krokidas & Bluestein
Mass. Division of Capital Asset Management
Mass. Teachers’ Association
O’Reilly, Law Office of Maureen
Sherin & Lodgen

(please note, this will be embarrassing later when I don’t get any of these jobs.)

My first choice would be (oddly?) the Mass Teacher’s Association. I would also really like to be paid to live in London for three months. With the obvious exception of the one in London they’re all in Boston. I think it makes real sense to stay here right now (I’m tired), even though there is a lot of pressure from the co-op office to leave boston if I don’t plan to WORK in boston. But since I’m not going to practice anyway it does not really matter at all what I do ever, or where I do it. Right?

The exception is the labor thing – apparently DC is labor/ union hot spot, so it might make sense to try to work in DC at least once (AND LIVE WITH MOM AND DAD!!) and get some serious labor experience, if that’s what we really think we might do. (assuming the whole ‘divorce people’/family law thing isn’t going to pan.)

Tomorrow (Friday) is official CHRISTMAS COOKIE day. I am going to get up, drive sarah to her FISRT law school exam, buy some butter, go to physical therapy, and then bake 6 types of cookies for the official “joy of baking” mailing that should happen tomorrow afternoon. I’m also going to do the x-mas cards tomorrow. Yay! Holiday joy! Yay!! Alright, more T&E now, and less less chatty chat chat. xox

mittens and kittens

2005-12-13T20:04:00.000-05:00

i do not believe i have ever neglected my blog so magnificently. and i would continue with my inattention i believe indefinitely, however i am positively swamped with school work, and nothing avoids work like mindless hobbies. and since i am at my FABULOUS library work study job and not at home to knit in bed or distract smasters form her school work, my third love, the long forgotten blog, can resume importance.

Philadelphia, co-op there in federal court for three months was wonderful (hindsight and rose colored glasses included). i learned a great deal, i got a stellar evaluation, i learned to walk AND (god help me) bend my completely uncooperative left leg with newly replaced ACL. I also lived (for the first time since that fabled and enchanted summer in Rochester) with one of the most important people in my life, miss jennifer kirsch. i also had the opportunity to become close to one sarah iler. someone who has always played a magnificent supporting role in my life, but one with whom i've never had the opportunity to be truly intimate. and it was a pleasure. and they both saved my life. again and again. and then again and again. but close calls are often the mortar of life long friendship. so i'm not only not complaining, i'm greatful. xoxo

the whole law school/ Boston/ Cambridge thing is back on. by some miracle (that defies expression with any sort of brevity but could accurately be described as perseverance) i avoided my third knee surgery this November and i am now hopping and skipping all over new England (with utmost care in the snow and ice, of course).

school is a drag, but after careful consideration, i think i prefer it to working which means i should start thinking of reality delaying graduate programs to pursue in fall 2007. i think i would make an excellent medical student. or astronaut. or ballerina. i might be MOST QUALIFIED to get an LLM, so maybe i will look into that.

i'm phasing out coffee in favor of sweet delicious tea. i prefer black chai, prince of wales or Irish breakfast - though only in a pinch.

i want new mittens. but i should be shopping for others, not myself. at least not until after Xmas. feliz navidad friends!

spooky goodtimes

2005-10-30T22:33:00.000-05:00

Ms. Sarah Iler woke me up at 6 am Saturday morning because a baby mouse got stuck on one of the sticky traps. ( we have mice. we also have a MOUSE TRAP variety that includes conventional break your head traps, sticky traps and bags of delicious poison. we also have sarah who is TERRIFIED OF RODENTS and jenn who IS TERRIFIED of DEAD ANIMALS (unless they’ve been cutely retooled into something fashionable). what this means is, I, by default, am MISTRESS OF THE MICE.

Anyway, Sarah apparently belongs in the mid 90s movie the GOOD SON because she wanted me to mix mouse poison with peanut butter and force-feed the baby mouse. (can you even imagine?) (Letting him off the sticky trap wasn’t an option because, clearly he would just sneak back inside and continue his diabolical plot to eat all of the goldfish snack crackers and destroy our lives.) So I had to drown him. in a coffee can.

And that, friends, was my first foray into murder. (unlike some of my friends, I never burned a shed full of puppies alive) I haven’t even killed a bug in years. (it’s part of my whole zen existence.) and baby mouse is certainly BY FAR the largest thing I’ve ever killed and I cried the whole time. But I’m sure I’m about 28 minutes away from joining a death metal band killing my friends and cooking and consuming their flesh. Hello serial murder, here I come.

the weekend is almost over. and even though fabulous daylight savings tacked a whole extra hour into it, I’m still not ready to go back to work. I love that I am PAYING $150,000 to learn how to do something that I DON’T EVEN LIKE.

Yes, Virginia: if you sacrifice your personal life and devote yourself single-mindedly to a career of whispering in the ears of the powerful, you, too

2005-10-19T19:57:00.000-04:00

So CLASSES are picked, real quick, I am registered for:

Seminar: The Legal Imagination
Seminar: Sexuality Gender and the Law
Seminar: Balancing Security and Liberty
Problems in Public Health Law
Immigration Law
Seminar: Professional Responsibility

I’m going to drop two. Which two remains to be seen. Hopefully sexuality and then either public health OR immigration. Do you like how it’s all seminars and no substance? Yeah. Me too. Fuck the bar. I takes what I likes. And I likes pirates. (Admiralty and maritime claims isn’t offered this quarter.)

I cut my hair today and I have BEAUTY QUEEN BANGS. Pretty awesome. That’s it. I went on about nothing last night, and registering was my big accomplishment. That and reading a Pennsylvania superior court case called “Northeastern Beaver.” not a lot going on. oxoxox

i expect a brace of bluebirds and singing dwarves at any moment ...

2005-10-18T22:48:00.000-04:00

Sarah took me to an itty bitty farmer’s market that was all organic and semi-Amish when she picked me up from ye ol’ court house of doom. we went late fall vegetable crazy, and stocked up, on yumminess and then made dinner. And except for a little kitchen fire caused by general unfamiliarity with this particular oven, we did really really well. Further, we resisted the temptation to buy expensive organic pumpkins, for carving purposes.

I’ve been thinking a lot about Christmas. For no reason. Except general tree and twinkling light fever. I think 251 pearl is going to have a tree this year. A grand tree, with pine-y goodness. And then we’re going to have a Christmas party to rival the great all night catastrophe I threw for amanda’s birthday. And hopefully someone will throw the Christmas tree off the back porch and we’ll be evicted, but we’ll be evicted memorably.

Work is going well. But then not so much. Yesterday one of the clerks gave me a patent claim to wade through. We’re only at the evidentiary stage, but with no IP training and ABSOLUTELY no technical background I’m drowning. Trying to sort through standards of review and all this Markman shit is driving me crazy. And I’m just so bored bored bored with it. But it’s important to learn new things. And the clerk who assigned it to me admitted that he has no IP background either. So he’s lost on the logistics right now too.

Meliora is this weekend. And I’m mixed on going. Rochester has lost a lot of its magical pull. And in a lot of ways it’s haunted. (Without clara can it really ever be the same?) I say I’m mixed, but I’m firm on going. And excited, for something familiar.

Last October, though, it was different, Rochester was home, and boston was a nightmare with law school and unfamiliarity. And now I’m smitten with Philadelphia, homesick for Boston and starting to regard Rochester like a jilted lover: it’s tense, but there are good memories. and it isn't as if other jenni (kirschykins) isn't going.

I keep saying that there is NO WAY they’ll confirm harriet miers next month. But I should be clear. There is no way I would confirm her. God knows what the powers that be will really do. They certainly don’t take their cues from me.

And then finally the knee thing. While we had a really good Monday, the knee, as it is a completely separate and alien thing these days, had a really bad day today with swelling and limping and the like. A real shame because today was our solitary weekday without physical therapy. and that's it. i'm writing while bath fresh, and i have to stretch out aforementioned knee and then miss iler and i have a tv date with some tea and pumpkin pie.

teetoller

2005-10-06T20:03:00.000-04:00

I’ve been thinking about my theory about how drinking is a waste of time. Every time I have an alcoholic beverage I get hung up on the fact that the reason it is fun is largely a result NOT of the company with which I acquire said beverage, but instead, because alcohol keeps my brain from receiving enough oxygen. And that makes it less fun. (I know it seems unbelievable, especially if I’ve ever thrown up on you, but I’m obsessed with the idea that drinking is dumb). So drinking might not be permanently detrimental, but it seems kind of blatantly pointless, except that it’s pleasurable. Am I right?

The problem with my teetolling theory is that i recently challenged myself (intellectually!! Not in practice!!) to extend it’s logic across the board. And do you know what the first stupid-pointless-outside-of-sheer-pleasure activity that sprung to mind was? SEX. (Not baby making sex. Babymakingsex is clearly goal orientated.) But regular young adult sex, with birthcontrol, is literally just the frantic, pointless humping of a literal glory hole.

but it feels so good. doesn't it?

So in conclusion: pleasure for pleasure’s sake is okay, even if it requires 6 beers, or tying a plastic bag over your head while you rub one out.

Uno!!

2005-10-06T19:23:00.000-04:00

Last night kc emailed me at the comcast account that I never use, but she told me about the email, and as a result, I checked my Comcast email. And you know what? Sometimes people email me there, and that’s pretty fucking AWESOME.

I am really really really very dehydrated and would like some water. i know, the easy answer would be to go get some, but I’m upstairs in Kirsch’s room and I am moderately crippled, so go screw. PS, I can do stairs without crutches. Beat that asstard. Beat it. I went to pt this morning, and my pt lady who sometimes treats me like she wants to make out and sometimes treats me like I’m her very stupid very slow at improving daughter said my knee looked very very impressive for where she thought I would be. (the way she treats me is linked suspiciously to what I’m wearing. Sweatpantaloons = indifferent patronizing, trashy Hawaii booty shorts (of course I wear them in public, and I wear them with pride) = objectified.

Of course I’m imagining her advances, all the bending and rubbing is clearly therapeutic.

Enough about my decrippleification.

I just went and fixed the hydration problem, but I wish while I was down there I had thought to bring a cd up here. Like I said, I’m hiding out in Jennifer M. Kirsch’s room and I’m searching through her computer for something to listen to and my choices are slipknot or tori. Neither appeals. j.kirsch is the world’s most amazing person, but I will not hesitate to fault her musical taste, she has none. She unfortunately reads this. don’t be angry baby, I still love you the most.

Kc mentioned in her email that my blog is shockingly a-political. And that’s true. But what’s super odd about that isn’t that I’ve forgotten to be obsessive and hungry for world news, on the contrary, I’m currently reading, newspapers at least, more than ever as I diligently avoid actually working while at internship. (I know enough about H. Meirs to make you cry tears of blood.) what’s truly odd is, I’m not interested in telling you about it.

Sidebar: I do support term limits for supreme court justices. (18 years sounds good, the founding father’s did not anticipate our barely breathing court: in 1777 old was 46. dead was 60.) And it isn’t just because little baby JG Roberts is going to rot on the highest bench for 45 years, it’s because look at these fuckers, they look like shit. And they should be convalescing and not nauseating hot shot litigators with their old & decrepitness.

Finally, in court today I watched plaintiff’s counsel struggle to come up with a reason to exclude a huge pile of largely irrelevant evidence. And all I wanted to do was whisper "403(b)!!" (confusing, prejudical, waste of time). His poor client is paying him and he’s going to loose. And it breaks my heart. I’m not saying I could have litigated this claim successfully (constitutional torts, tricky tricky). But this man passed the bar, or so he claims, but he appears to have no actual legal experience. I keep hoping that he’s actually the archetypical bumbling lawyer, and he’s not actually incompetent, he’s just duping me (and the jury) and any minute now he’ll jump on it and impress me with naïve brilliance. I doubt it.

2005-10-05T22:54:00.000-04:00

THIS IS AWESOME, and we must give credit to anna T, newyork's brightest lawschoolstar for calling my attention to it. (note: smasters is Massachusetts's brightest LAWSTAR).

What’s up douchebag redsox? Stop being losers. Thanks. It’s so funny, when I live in Massachusetts I HATE the redsox. But when I’m out of town, I like to cheer them on. Like when I lived in the ROC senior year I loved the baseball playoffs (because watching baseball meant not studying for the LSAT). remember when don zimmer got clotheslined? That was beautiful. But then i actually lived in boston (red sox nation? don't you mean red sox regional love? why do you get to be a nation? WHY?) I wanted to kill all sox fans everywhere. they ruined it for me. And now here we are in Philadelphia, and I’m back on board. Too bad no cubs. I could cheer for cubs.

This is a column from the 2001 Yale Daily that covers blow job etiquette. Now when I heard blow job etiquette I thought FOR SURE we were going to be talking about the "pre ejaculatory heads up," but no, friend. Apparently the only issue in blowing "dos" and "don’ts" is SPIT or SWALLOW. Which just proves that undergraduate girls don’t know shit. Now girls in law school, they know blow jobs . . . **oh, and if you read the whole thing you’ll see that apparently SOMEONE had cum come out their nose when they swallowed, and i know someone who that happened to, poor dear. And baby, you’re not alone.**

Because it’s October, things are heating up in the court where I work. (summer is finally over?) I’m super tempted to go at length about the cool things I see in court, (translators who are so old they can’t hear, lawyers who blow cases on opening argument) but I feel like they were serious about things being confidential. One thing is for sure: I don’t want to be a real lawyer. This is better than school, and law clerk is a low stress high prestige course of action, but Jesus, Boring. Boring boring. Or maybe I just suffer from crippling attention deficit disorder.

Today I bought myself a subscription to Atlantic Monthly because in PT the lady said my knee looked BETTER than she’s EVER seen it. (She also said she was going to break a bottle of champagne over my ass when I could touch my heel to my butt. (yes she is a lesbian. yes she thinks i'm gay too.)) if I continue working hard and moving forward, for the rest of the week I am going to buy myself a new haircut, and a trip to brazil next week (even though the wax lady is in boston, and I will have to have a new stranger go-to-town on my crotch). I know all this seems ridiculous, but fuck you. You likely have no idea. I’m trying really hard. And I deserve tangible rewards. Sometimes walking without lurching just isn’t enough.

2005-10-03T20:00:00.000-04:00

I just made a picture of the new supreme court my desktop. Why? Because I am AWESOME. And your desk top is lame. And I had to change the picture of kirstie alley that chuck but up as a joke weeks a go.

So. Long time no talk bloggityblogblog. I want to tell you that nothings been doing and nothing was missed. But that would be deceitful. I moved to Philadelphia, and my problems and woes did not magically dissolve once I reached a different little old city. In fact they might have multiplied.

Work is fine, the people in my office are nice, the things I do are interesting. I enjoy not being in school. Sometimes I think about school fondly. I’m sure some evaluations mailed to my house will ruin school nostalgia.

Chuck came down from san diego to Philadelphia and that was wonderful because he is generally amazing.

However, the knee I went to considerable length to have FIXED is shot to shit. I missed a week of work last week to go up to Boston to have more knee surgery and patch up the blood related complications I’ve been having. Everything hurts and I’m having trouble walking. I ruined chuck’s trip to the east coast by crying. I am lucky to have him, (and sarah and jenn).

I’m frustrated, that nothing, even things that we anticipate will be difficult is ever as easy as we hope. I’m even more frustrated that there is a long and difficult road between me and walking and bending at 100%. Or 120 degrees.

For the most part though, everyone has been wonderful. And I’ back in Philadelphia as of today to start back at work tomorrow. And 80% of this is just believing that everything will be alright, and pushing forward. Because no matter how things turn out, you don’t know the alternatives. You’re stuck with where you are, alright turns into the only thing you know. No matter what it is.

2005-08-20T08:57:00.000-04:00

I’m spending my last few minutes as the sole occupant of 251 pearl st #3 moping around the apartment. It’s been a crazy eventful week since I lasted posted, and in the lull between my parents leaving and my roommates moving in I’m pouting and sulking.

Finals finished with the calamity that comes only from being inadequately prepared. I think corporations and evidence went very very badly. But administrative law, juvenile courts and labor arbitration went very well. I believe. Or rather I hope. And beyond that it’s useless to worry about it now. Nothing to be done now.

My parents spent the week in Boston because I had my ACL replaced on Tuesday. I’ve had knee surgery before, but I’ll hand it to acl replacement, this is by far, the most painful thing I’ve ever done. Simply unbelievable. but I’m feeling better, and I am heavily medicated, so that helps. I’m also sporting a ridiculous complete knee brace and I have to spend 8 hours a day in my fancy motion machine having my knee bent by robotic medieval technology. Yesterday I had my first post surgery shower. And we changed the bandages and all I have to say is, that if this gets infected and they cut off my leg and I spend the remainder of my years wearing polyester pants to conceal my artificial limb, or tooling around in a wheelchair, I am going to be bullshit. BULLSHIT.

Aside from general post-op discomfort and finals trauma hangover, my most pressing concern is loneliness. I don’t know why, these days, but the same gnawing nagging loneliness that was eating me in January and February is back again. It might just have been living in the new apartment alone, or it might just be that with the summer rotation I haven’t been seeing a lot of people who I enjoyed previously, and the missing pieces feel heavy. Or it might be that now that this is home, I am a little more than sad to leave Boston behind and by loneliness I really mean dread. Or it might be the cyclical feeling that creeps up on me every few months where I remember that the people I want to rely on most will likely be the people I can count on least— that sort of reliable devotion that I am willing to give can’t be found where I most want to find it.

and i am a writer, a writer of fictions. i am the heart you call home. i've written pages, upon pages trying to rid you from my bones.

a new face

2005-08-10T19:57:00.000-04:00

i'm within spitting distance of being 1/2 way done (academicly) with my second year of law school, and it feels great. better than most things ever.

i kicked juvie courts in the tits today (screw you jenny weisz, your exam was cake).

so we have evidence tomorrow in the early am, then it's just a matter of finishing up the admin group doosie, and banging out a labor arbitration brief.

then by friday @ 5 i should be at the cape with merissa and clarity darling. xoxox

i changed the face of my blog, if your curious, because "something" ate the html that made it pretty and i thought that rather than recreate the old magic i might try something a little new a little more fall...

the bad news is as soon as i come back from the cape, it's knee surgery time. and before i know it, philly. pretty fucking exciting. and the leaves are going to change soon. yayayayayay. i'm a little bit smitten with life today.

tuesday blues

2005-07-26T09:51:00.000-04:00

I’m having a little bit of a positive affirmation problem this morning. School is making me unreasonably tired. I’m sleeping more then usual but the length of time in school is dragging on me. I think that summer school was a bad idea.

There are plenty of things to be happy about. I did very well on my labor arbitration brief, even if Abrams finds my use of commas idiosyncratic. As much of a pain in the ass moving is, as much as it seems like an ill timed ridiculous idea, it will be very nice to live somewhere else. Sanni doesn’t know it yet but her *SODOMY ROCKS* teeshirt came in the mail today, save pussy came last week. I think I’m going to go see hamlet outdoors on Wednesday night, and tonight I get to meet Amanda’s mom and aunt for dinner. Classes are going well. Even if I am a little behind. It’s a simple matter of moving forward and keeping pace, there are two weeks left. And if I get a corporations outline together this week, there is no reason I couldn’t throw a juvie courts one over the weekend and then spend next week polishing someone else’s evidence.

Oh! And even though it hurts, Brazilian Tuesday is great news. maybe some belle and sebastian and chocolate milk are in order. sanni and i keep eating crap at ABP justified by stress. but crumbcake will kill me or i will kill myself when my jeans don't fit.

But the all time best reason for staying positive is:

Post knee surgery sanni and I are going to finally go panhandling. She’s going to pretend to be blind, and I’ll use crutches and pain killers to enhance my street credibility. (now as everyone knows, you need a good gimmick to rock to make panhandling profitable, you CANNOT market pity, and no one believes you.)

We’re going to make a sign of cardboard, that says:

HELP FUND OUR MALPRACTICE SUIT!!!

That’s a moneymaker baby. xoxo

2005-07-24T18:17:00.000-04:00

I’m having trouble concentrating. I’m at school and I promised myself 6 solid hours of work, after all it is Sunday and 6 hours is a lot of hours for a non workweekday. But I’m failing to concentrate on my statutory exculpatory provisions.

I’m moving this weekend to Cambridge. My new address, you stalker you, is 251 Pearl St, Apartment 3. Cambridge MA, 02139. pretty fun. But I’m going to be unsupervised (roommate-less) in the apartment for two weeks before other people start moving in and I’m kind of scared to live alone. But I also have finals in two weeks. So maybe some uninterrupted study time will do me good. We signed the lease on Thursday. And I am so happy to be done with our schizophrenic unstable wildebeest of rental agent. She’s also an ungrateful bitch. And she’s crazy, did I mention crazy? (Note: my mom found her crazy as well. But my mom, bless her soul, also thought Mari was a lesbian. Not that that explains anything, except, of course, that my mom misattributes the roots of insanity…)

My parents were here all weekend. Was lovely to see them. Besides one little argument over whether I needed an air conditioner, some alarm regarding my wastefulness in not returning kegs on time, and one NASTY fight about Mari the dumb rental agent, we had a lovely time. Hard to explain how much I miss them. And how odd it is that they regard me as all grown up and all on my own. They also conceded that, if I were willignto pay rent and have a job, they would let me move home, even if I decided not to be a lawyer. Which is more supportive than I anticipated. Not that I’m thinking about bailing out. I had just wondered recently, “if push came to shove, what could I do? Do I still have a safety net? Or is it hitchhiking and prostitution by default?”

They also brought up the new lap top my insurance policy bought me. YAY BABY LAPTOP. <3 <3 xoxox. Super super cute, but hard to type on. I’m also experiencing a lot of anxiety about her being stolen… I can’t imagine why.

I finished the sixth potter book last week. Funny thing about potter. It makes me miss you know who more than I should. But everything makes me miss everything these days. And I’m quickly settling on the idea that nostalgia, though fuzzy and soft and good for rainly days, is almost completely without use. I am not who I was, and I am unlikely to ever be the person, with uninterrupted irresponsibility, that I was in college and high school. And my life now, is not an albatross, or a heavy heavy cross. It’s just my life. And lemonade, chin up, and no pits. Right?

i miss music.

2005-07-19T19:46:00.000-04:00

I’ve got a new growing concern.

A friend of a friend, SaNni’s xbf Ryan specifically, observed, last week that I have a kind of condescending attitude. And he thinks that law school has exasperated the situation. And I’m kind of beginning to think he’s correct. Look, I’ll ruminate on paper, at length.

If you ask me to tell you about me, the first thing I tell you I do is “go to law school.” The first thing I tell you am is, “in law school.” And it’s time consuming, but is it everything I am? Or did it just become who I am, completely at some point. And what sort of monster would I be if I went to Harvard? I’ll write a little play about it:

waitress: did you decide what you want to order?
ME: ME? I go to HARVARD LAW SCHOOL. HARVARD. Have you heard of it?
~FINI~

And it’s time consuming so it makes sense that it’s central. And it’s why I live here. And what I do instead of working or having hobbies. So I think I get it. But:

Is it the first thing I say because I’m asserting something about myself? About my level of education? About my proclivity to pick apart things you say? I always regarded the whole law school student zombie transformation thing with a little shame…. It is something bad and mindless, and not something I wanted to happen to me. But since I’ve clawed my way this far, with minimal effort, am I experiencing pride? Unhealthy down the bridge of my nose pride? And do I really have anything to be proud of? In my mediocrity?

dickens

2005-07-18T16:32:00.000-04:00

i'm becoming increasingly concerned that i'm not who i think i am. and in all likely hood this is an imagined existential crisis. any sort of definite "self" is imagined. you can't know yourself, really. and no one really knows you either. all the hyped up importance of knowing "who you are" is just a byproduct of our self obsessed cult of individualism.

and the cultish-ness is everywhere in EVERYTHING we do, and watch and say.

and that's all well and good. BUT, i don't really want to be a self absorbed little media/socially designed monkey. but why don’t I want to be a little robot, a little soldier of ME? BECAUSE I BELIEVE I'M somehow unique! so it's too late. circle complete.

i finally changed the signature on my email, from "truth is plural" to "there are many forms of stupidity and cleverness is the worst." what no one understands about email signatures is that they aren't conversation starters. they're particular fixations. one would not, you specifically, believe how many people have written back to me when my signature was, "truth is plural" to express their PROFOUND belief that 1. truth is not plural (you're wrong asshole, it's about perspective, it has to be plural.) or 2. that shouldn't it be "truths are plural?" (wouldn't it be ridiculous to point out the plurality of a already plural word? asstard.)

anyway, evidence is cancelled today. so my usual 5:30 to 7:30 time block is goign to be spent suit shopping at the pru. YAY. suits.

my parents are in on Thursday afternoon, and i'm looking forward to seeing them profoundly. possibly because it's been almost 5 months with no arguing except over the phone. shame shame.

with love, pointlessly and irritatingly yours.

And tango makes 3!

2005-07-05T19:25:00.000-04:00

One can literally tell when school’s heating up for me, because I start to post (read: avoid work) more enthusiastically. I’m trapped in the library writing a last minute paper about teen sexual rights in Massachusetts. And I can’t leave because “they” stole my computer. (See earlier post.)

this is a link for the bio of the guy i'm working for in September, (just fyi):
http://www.jtbf.org/article_iii_judges/giles_j.htm

Chuck bought a car (yesterday). A NEW car. I read somewhere once that new cars are the worst investment that you can EVER make, because of how quickly they depreciate in value. Plus, your angry/jealous friend might shoot at/ throw a shopping cart at/ leave gummy lifesavers all over the interior of your car. You never know. But I guess the chuck-car thing gets me twice. 1. When the hell did chuck become an adult who owns a Saab?!?! 2. why am i STILL a kidlet?!?!

ciao bella! back to the children's sexual rights mines!!

This PSA was brought to you by the local hoodlums in my neighborhood, Allston.

2005-07-04T16:04:00.000-04:00

On Tuesday morning at 3:30 am my apartment was broken in to by god knows who, while I was sleeping. They left with essentially everything I own of value: laptop, digital camera, purse, flash drive expensive new jeans (wtf!?!), essential-to-academic-success-glasses. The immediate effect is that I’m trying out a new more Zen lifestyle. As in, I’m so high minded, I don’t need “things.” The secondary effect is that I’m reeling. As in, wow, enter at will, take what you need and use it to buy crack. Leave me feeling helpless and unsafe. And do it in a college-y neighborhood. Take it from your peers.

Is it fair to characterize all robbers as drug addicts? Are all thieves just people who prey on good fortune for an easy high? Probably not. But does it matter why you steal? Or from whom? And why is my karma so fucking bad?

I went to the cape on Thursday to decompress for a few days with merissa’s family. Which was lovely. I love her (and her family). And the end result is that I’m feeling a little more grounded, and a lot more tan.

School is ass. ASS ASS ASS. Just a lot of work. This summer was supposed to be so, so wonderful. And it’s just feeling really really awful. I have a dentist appointment this week, where I will be told that I have 43785 cavities. And then I will have to have all of my teeth removed. And then I will have dentures. And the only upside I can think of dentures revolves around a story john hunter once told me about a friend of his who has dentures AND an oral sex move she calls “the gummer.” It doesn’t sound fun to keep your teeth in a glass of water next to your bed, but I’m sure it can be. NOTE: I don’t actually tin I have any cavities.

IN other exciting news. This September I will be spending 11 weeks in Philadelphia!! Working as a judical clerk for the US district Court of Eastern PA, for Chief Judge James Giles. Wonderful wonderful opportunity. Guaranteed QT with kirschykins and sarah iller. And perhaps a much needed rest from Boston, a city hell bent on breaking my heart.

In other exciting news. I’m getting a new ACL!! Woooooooooooooo! Yes, after 3 year break, the “repair jenni’s knee from that time she played rugby” project will resume on August 16. so if you want to visit Boston while I’m bed ridden and in a WORSE mood than usual, please buy your tickets today.

Back to my paper about teen sexual rights in Massachusetts. The age of consent is 16, in case you’re hanging around a playground looking fro some play of your own. Wink wink. Massachusetes: where 16 REALLY WILL get you 20 (years).

As the music swells somehow stronger from adversity

2005-06-17T18:59:00.000-04:00

i had intended to make updates at least weekly since i've been back and started school. Unfortunately i didn't consider reality.

school is hard. There is nothing in the difference between 1L and 2L that makes life easy. i mean. It's good to chose your own adventure, it's good that the doctrinal coldcalling bullshit is out with the wash. But it's hard to keep running like this. I've been in school with no substantial breaks since the end of august. That's not cool. But we're three weeks into the quarter, so chances are the next 9 will flit by in a heart beat.

Amanda and i went shopping at downtown Xing. and i bought new jeans. capri's specifically. And it's a good and bad. i need new jeans. i currently have two pairs in rotation that feature, essentially, my genitals. and that's a little bit rough on the general public. however i feel like my jeans are a little matronly. (they are capris) but maybe every pair of jeans i own shouldn't be night time appropriate. nevertheless. lot's of budget new shit.

i'm going to go order tee shirts for me and sanni. mine will say, "SAVE PUSSY" and her's will say "SODOMY ROCKS." that's gonna be hot.

so busy busy with the overload. 5 classes. i'll list them at the bottom. and then why else? how else do i waste my time. boston's been a bitchy hott. and my attic room is "unpleasant." i saw priti and jess last weekend for dinner. priti is in the Bahamas, for three weeks, working, then a bunch of old school college girls from the Delta G are hitting Boston for the fourth of July. pretty exciting.

i think i'm inadvertently going on a date tonight. the best part is, it's with a girl. and ... well. i think this is going to be messy. but it does have the potential to be fun. that said. i need to get cleaned up and dressed.

SUMMER '05
Adminstrative law
Juvinile Courts
Labor Arbitration
Corportions
Evidence

BTW --------------------------> i lost my phone a little while ago. so if you want to TALK to me, you have to make sure i have your ### ### ####!!!!

i can't eat; i can't sleep. i can't sleep; i can't dream.

2005-06-06T01:15:00.000-04:00

i just think everyone should know, that after 1 am tonight, the girls who live in the crack house across the street started blaring the Dresden Dolls ....

and first, this only happened because i live in allston. in no other reality anywhere would anyone ever listen to the dresden dolls on their porch after 1 in the morning. and second i hate my life. i wish i were pissing away one last summer on the porch of some dirty old house.

fuck kids.

Administrative law is not for sissies

2005-05-31T06:13:00.000-04:00

Japan was amazing. it's hard to even describe it otherwise. if you ever ever have the opportunity to do anything, everything, every opportunity you have comes highly recommended. if that makes sense.

i'll look into posting some pictures and stuff. Clarity wouldn't share the camera, so she appears infrequently... which means lot's of pictures of me standing around in front of temples, or eating weird shit.

so, today is the first day of my second year of law school. it's a breathe into a bag kind of day. i don't know why i am up before my alarm, drinking coffee, wringing my hands, but i am. should be a great summer. and the beginning of a good year. i need to decide on classes today, for sure. since i registered for 1 million credits. and i can't handle all 1 million.

it's really good to be home. apartment shopping 2005 starts this weekend. not only is S.masters (of high school fame) going to be a neu law student, she's also going to be living with me and sanni-pants. can't beat that.

2005-05-21T06:52:00.000-04:00

i am in JAPAN!!! KYOTO!!! TOKYO!!

can i take a second to complain?

2005-05-11T16:58:00.000-04:00

good good. so i was napping, and you know, not fully dressed, because i was drunk and happy in my hot attic box (post crim-exam), when greg (my slumlord) shows up with 4 chippies to show my apartment, and he was like, "did you get my message?" and i was like, "NO GREG I DIDN'T! don't you think i would be dressed if you had called!??!"

then i apologized to the girls and explained that i was finishing my first year of law school, had finals, and was a "Little" overtired, PLUS GREG NEVER CALLS before he shows up, and it's a sore subject. and the one girl was like, "where do you go to law school? "

and guess where she's going to be a 1 L? that's right motherfuckers, my own private dungeon, neu. weird.

no worries, i told her she was an asstard for trying to live in Allston.

i'm so nice, it's like charity.

4 days until Japan and seastar.

blow me.

2005-05-10T23:51:00.000-04:00

the good thing about my upcoming vacation (one of the many many good things) is that NO MATTER how badly i fail, i still get to go. that said,

5 days until JAPAN.

the land of the rising sun and my clarity, law school and my failing grades ain't got shit on that! ( i don't know i failed. i just want out)

NOW i do as i please, and i lie through my teeth

2005-04-29T18:38:00.000-04:00

woot woot, first and foremost:
14 dAYS TIL JAPAN AND CLARITY!!!!!!

second only to that, today was my last day of law school classes for my first year. you really cannot beat that. and tonight is the law school not-formal. you gotta love neu... only we would have our un-formal at trashy limelight with kareoke... while everybody else has a barrister's ball. i'm sure either way it would be weak. but i'm typing this in a towel, at my computer while drinking a beer with a green clay face mask on... i would love to stay and chat, BUT we've got to get our hair in rollers. all of my love.

HOLY FUCK, we're getting a new roommate

2005-04-27T17:31:00.000-04:00

I love love love love how my slumlord, Greg continues to play his own perverse version of the real world with my life. Slumlord left me a voice mail today letting me know that we have a new roommate, named Mike, and that I should make sure to introduce myself. this is annoying not only because I was planning on playing Beirut in "mike's new room," this Saturday (fucker, where are we going to play flip cup?! how do I have a high school style kegger in my house with out a empty spare room?) BUT ALSO because Greg lies ALL THE TIME!!! Previously Greg has told me and Katherine(that's how you can tell the conversation didn't happen in my imagination) that if he were going to move someone in, we would have the opportunity to meet said person. But no. That's what Greg says, but not how he plays it. All I can do is hope that "Mike" is

Quiet
Passive
Clean

because if I have to pick up after another roommate or trick another roommate into letting me 'rule the roost' I'm gonna be bullshit.

but nevermind you that, 18 days until japan. jealous?

well well well

2005-04-22T12:00:00.000-04:00

so Friday, love, cannot, try as you might, be beat.

anyway. Even though it is materially the weekend, life will, likely, continue to be unfun as finals are in season, even if they are two weeks away. As Youssef so wisely put it,

"all you girls get on the rag as soon as finals start...You all did the same thing last semester!"

how graphic. But it's true. I assert that I don't suck, just everyone else sucks. blah blah blah. But that still leaves me with a lot of time to study. maybe i'll really get to it this weekend.

in exciting news, we've made the VERY UNWISE choice to have Amanda's b-day celebrated by a "high school style kegger" at my house. So we're all going to die, and burn my house down. I think we're going to try to trick chris's band into playing so we can add some "jail time for noise violations" on my reading week to-do list. Look for further announcements or your engraved invitation (April 30, 2005 : THE END OF THE WORLD).

anyway. I went to early (8:30) contracts (K) and learned more than I usually do. Then I went to work and abused the photocopier. bwa ha ha ha. And now I'm counting the minutes and working on the take home portion of my crim exam. Sanni and I are going to go get lunch. She wants Uno's (it's close by) but I want Barking Crab. 1. I've never been. 2. Strawberry blonde and mussels sounds perfect for chilly sunshine.

back to thinking about crim law essays ...

Nicotine & Bacteria

2005-04-20T19:18:00.000-04:00

I’m all super clean because I just took a long early evening shower where in I shaved and then heavily moisturized. Today was certainly was the first taste of Boston’s summer. And although it did not break 90 degrees, I was uncomfortable in the sweltering law school.

I went to hang out with Tina (my foster care mentee) today post classes. And I don’t want to seem ungrateful, as she seems like a really great kid with some admirable goals and some crazy ambition, but there’s a huge gulf between us. Huge… maybe not insurmountable, but still large enough to make me feel really defeated. Maybe with a little time. Bottom line: there is a very good possibility that she’s a liar, and not a very good one.

But she does do wonders to remind me that I’ve forgotten how hard it is to be 14. As much as I like to revel in everyone’s misunderstanding of intention and inflection, all those things sear more when you’re a 14 year old girl with no idea if you’ll be able to pull off shit with your life. And I guess 23 year old know it all, even with good intentions, seems like a complete ass.

Can’t do anything but try.

North to south

2005-04-19T20:35:00.000-04:00

My house is hot. All my spring-joy made me forget that i dislike being warm....And my bedroom is in a converted attic for the second consecutive summer. Some people, (I), never learn.

i fell off a concrete ledge today because i was screwing around trying to do pilates tricks (on a concrete ledge) and i totally scraped the majority of my joints. waaaaaaaaaaaah. not brilliant.

the main point of posting is that i just registered for my second year of law school classes!!!!! Choosing is more fun than doing.

Poverty Law Clinic
Evidence
Administrative Law
Family Law
Juvenile Courts: delinquency, abuse, neglect
Advanced Criminal Procedure.

No advanced whining, it wasn't offered this quarter. And I'm not over doing it with six classes. I'm not taking advanced crim pro or juvy courts if i get into the Poverty Law Clinic. But i won't get in to the poverty law clinic, (2L = no dice in a limited enrollment class), so then we're down to 16 credits.

Everyone is here, but you're nowhere near...

2005-04-18T11:52:00.000-04:00

This might have been the best weekend in an eon. (In the very least since i moved to Boston). Besides two nights of QT with sanni-san at the bravery (and the bravery related debacles, he he). Lo took me to my first baseball game, ever! and i don't know how I feel about baseball, but there's nothing i like better than an excited crowd, (scroll down for semi-game related pictures), who knows. Marathon is today, so even though it feels like a lazy Sunday, it's just a tricky Monday, with no school.

HAPPY B-DAY PETE!! Quarter century, not bad.

(the myriad of odd feelings Pete's b-day dredges don't need illumination here.) anyway, my old lady disease is still in full effect, i was asleep by 1 last night and up at 7:30 this morning... funny thing, i can't manage getting up if i need to, but with nothing to do: no problem. But made some basic housecleaning and laundry possible. yay clean!

even thought i want to run around outside, I'm going to go get a head in Con law and catch up in crim. Screw you contracts, i left you at school, so unless i get my motivation on, I'm not leaving the house. i was in the Gap Saturday and they were playing pavement...And i was a little annoyed by it, but it reminded me to listen to pavement, good deal. Ciao, couch is calling!

2005-04-18T10:00:00.000-04:00

2 headed red sox monster

2005-04-18T09:58:00.001-04:00

jenni and Lo

2005-04-18T09:50:00.000-04:00

drink and then stand on your seat!

2005-04-18T09:49:00.000-04:00

fenway fenway

QUICK QUICK

2005-04-15T13:38:00.000-04:00

At some point this silly (neglected) blog became a rant about my dwindling-new-environment-related depression and a countdown til I leave for Japan. That's probably annoying. I'm just glad I can count on no one reading it...

Jenny Weiss listed her blog on some NY zip code thing so that people can stalk her, and then the people who maintain the site wrote e a negative review that insinuated that they think she's shallow. fuck that JW. It think you're brilliant. Or at least much much smarter than me. Take that as you will.

I know I just said I wouldn't do this, but it's here! It's here!!

1 MONTH UNTIL I GO TO JAPAN!!!!!

you can't get more exciting than that. So so so so so much fun.

speaking of fun. Weekend looks "better than average." First sanni and I have to go meet out new mentees (Tina and Ashley) at the VOA. I'm really excited for new mentee. Later tonight Sanni and I have Bravery tickets. We also have tickets on Saturday. We're playing low key tonight, but then Saturday we hope to obliterate reality and then go see chris's band blanketeer ( http://www.blanketeer.net/ ) at pa's after. Sat afternoon should include lot's of hard work, but Holland and I are going to do the "sephora /downtown crossing shopping thing" that's essential to sanity. I also need to go to Sax and return the $100 in turquoise eyeshadow I bought 3 weeks ago. (i'm easily swindled.) Sunday might very well be a waste, but MONDAY + NO SCHOOL. Weekends are better with padding.

I have to get back to workity work, but in work related news, they offered to let me stay on through the summer, so as long as I re-get my work study, I have a summer job. (score). I also picked out classes. And if you're good, and you stay tuned, I'll tell you about it later.

2005-04-14T17:41:00.000-04:00

ever since sanni told me who Bettie was, (i live d my first 22 years in an anti-culture cave, shut it) i've been crushing a little bit (A LOT)... what a compliment...

I can't sleep, I can't dream

2005-04-14T17:40:00.000-04:00

I can't decide what classes to take and I have no means of figuring out how I'm going to piece a schedule together... And I think I need to "know" by Monday. Theoretically I can wing it. As much as I don't want to be a lawyer, be in law school, I WANT TO TAKE EVERYTHING. Listening to me read the course book sounds like this, "oooooooh income tax. oh oh oh! Family law!"and on and on. But as excited as I am for whole new semester with classes I CHOOSE, I can't believe school extends through the summer for me. I'm already so burnt out, how could it possibly be a good idea to keep at this another 11 weeks??

I'm @ work, and if I were good I would read my contracts, and maybe I will. But not now, I feel so frisky when it's sunny. If I were a dog, I know, sadly, that I would be the type of dog that chases its tail. And barks unnecessarily. Lucky me, I'm not a dog. But speaking of dogs, sanni and I saw a little dreamboat of a dog walking up the street. This raises a number of questions. 1. Would it be trite to have a Boston terrier in Boston? What if I promise to move AS SOON as possible? 2. Is it unethical to borrow money under the pretext of using it for school and really purchasing a dog? What if I told you that I'm lonely? (dog = cure all)

there are two weeks of classes left. And in a month we'll be done with finals, and being 1Ls... That's a more than a little crazy. Hopefully the rest of this law school thing will fly by. But you know what's better than all that, better than everything?

31 DAYS 'til I go to Japan!!
clarity bought bus tickets for us to Kyoto this morning. We were going to take the "speed train" but apparently we've opted for an overnight bus option to save almost $200...which is awesome, I really cannot believe I am REALLY going. I pretend I'm going to do some many things. Crazy to follow through.

in completely unrelated news, well, semi related news. I bought a digital camera over the weekend. So someday soon, pictures of my fabulous life. Or at least maybe Japan.

2005-04-07T17:26:00.000-04:00

sorry about last melodramatic post. I'm having a bad day. More importantly:

37 days 'til JAPAN!!!

and it isn't even SUBSTANTIAL.

2005-04-07T13:25:00.000-04:00

I have a little bit of extra time this afternoon because constitutional law, the only class I like and/or read for, is canceled. So I thought I'd pick back up on my favorite old hobby.

Hello there, Stranger. I guess I don't have a lot to say. Boston is having a run of glorious weather. Which is a lovely change of pace. Unfortunately law school is not obliged to turn on any sort of temperature control system as the heat outdoors rises. So our 70s style all concrete building is magically transformed into a huge human oven. Tra la la la la. BRILLIANT.

I thought I was going to go see (my new absolute fave band EVER) Bloc Party This translates roughly to: the show was April 5, 2005 and not May 5, 2005 but the date was listed as 05.04.05. theoretically from the context of the rest of the dates I should have been able to determine that it was APRIL and not may, but I'm a shitty law student, not a neuroscientist. whatever ... nothing matters right? You miss somethings somedays, and other days you get hit by the train. In the end, everybody is unhappy.

Which brings me to my next point; I'm never leaving my house or talking to anyone ever again. No matter what you do, you're a miserable excuse for a human being to someone. At home there's no one to destroy besides you. (and your roommates --if you get bored ruining your own life.) and I don't think I'm overstating, I'm sincere in this moment, at least, everyone is disappointing, including, and perhaps most importantly, me.

and i'm saying that nothing in the past or future will feel like today...

2005-03-25T15:45:00.000-05:00

I can't stop listening to Bright Eyes. I'm paralyzed by whining and crying.

I'm also at work and I have 15 minutes of downtime before i leave (not enough to do anything remotely useful,) so why not post?

We have beautiful almost spring weather in Boston today. Wet and quasi warm. I’m going to stop by whole foods get some soy milk and make myself a chai latte and have a big salad on my front porch when I get home. Yummy yummy.

This week feels so short and so long. I feel like Friday is premature, BUT last Monday is an ocean and a continent a way, at least.

Pete, yes the one and only, most notably recently cast as my exboyfriend, came to Boston last weekend and stayed through Tuesday. What can I say? Wonderful to see him in way that I will never be able to describe.

Clarity and I talk a lot about 2 concepts. (1) The idea that sometimes you have to play the game (appear disinterested) and (2) if you CAN box and label you emotions and feelings about people/situations and leave them on interior shelves forever.

I think we're both bullshit. You need to be honest (with yourself and, really everyone in the room, everyone connected to your heartstrings); both to avoid being at fault for breaking your heartstrings as well as to be a good person. Additionally, you can't box shit. Those feeling will always be there, ignoring them will just leave you bewildered later on.

i overdrew my checking account by $3! so aggravating! the bank should note that it was clearly a math error and not charge me $27 for the priviledge of being stupid.

welcome to the weekend my loves. All the best.

two great tastes, together at last...

2005-03-17T17:10:00.000-05:00

i skipped the co-op meeting was supposed to go to in favor of walking up the street to starbucks. hopefully none of my indie-street-cred is undermined by my starbucks dependence. if everyone had a toffee-nut option i wouldn't struggle.

sometimes it's good to spend time alone. other times you have no choice and you make the best of it. i think the trick to graceful loneliness is dependant on the appearance that you're choosing to be alone. (i believe this is accomplished by not crying in public. ha ha ha.)

today Boston is sunny and semi warm. i went for a walk across campus, and while i was walking, i swear i smelled mud. you know how you can count on spring when you smell mud, and new grass? well, my dear, spring is lurking, only a matter of time until it's sprung.

by the way, happy st.Patrick's day. i elected not to wear green. but i think i'm going to go get wasted face at a non-collegey bar where NO GREEN BEER IS SERVED, in celebration and defiance of holidays that support nationalism.

(there are 58 days until i leave for japan.)

this is going to get old, really quickly

2005-03-15T16:16:00.000-05:00

the girl I work with at my lame ass work study job got engaged over the weekend, which means when I’m not doing menial and ridiculous office work, we talk wedding. Now I know that I’m a 23 year old girl, so wedding-talk is supposed to be pretty high on my to-do list, however, I’m kind of sort of not in the mood.

Not that I’ve ever been of the wedding-enthusiastic persuasion. If we all remember the catastrophe of my participation in my sister’s wedding. And I really thought that was all about me not liking my sister’s fiancée/husband. As it turns out, I just think marriage is an ass idea. (No need for you to point out, dear dear reader, that once I’m feeling the crunch of age that I’ll no doubt be hustling down any aisle with any semi-eligible bachelor. I maintain that I will hang onto my values forever, and if I do decide to get married, I’d prefer ridiculously self indulgent Cuba-beach & booze private wedding (who needs to be there besides me?) to ridiculously self indulgent public display of affection party from hell featuring BRIDEZILLA (cast as me) and my whole feuding family, not to mention someone else’s relatives.)

Just seems like a bad idea.

School’s boring and I have SO much work to do today…hopefully, I’ll get on that.

pre-ides of march blues

2005-03-13T14:31:00.000-05:00

sometimes people owe you money, and you want to ask for it, but dignity prevents you from reaching out and being entitled. I'm super hung up on Bright Eyes right now. and although I'm poor in an unimaginable empty hand to empty mouth way, i ordered three books this afternoon. one of no interest (l-school bullshit), The New York Trilogy, and Created in Darkness by Troubled Americans. I have plenty to read, but you need to spend $25 to qualify for free shipping, hence the perpetual book buying nonsense.

I've wasted the weekend. Although i had the most amazing Friday ever, Angharad and Vanessa had Sanni and i over for dinner. and we had steak. and it's amazing, but nothing like the carnivors describe. A&V are an amazing couple. like nothing I've ever seen. just real warmth and understanding. Not even the kind that inspires jealousy of the, "why is my life so empty?" persuasion. The kind of relationship that makes you feel alive and loved by osmosis. wrapped up in luck for having such amazing people in proximity.

i filed my FAFSA today, so as soon as i finish my school aid form i should be right on track for borrowing MORE MORE MORE MORE money. (yay). might make soup later. or do homework. Whatever. Whatever. digital cable (and all 46 of my HBOs) is ruining my life, so i might not have time for soup OR homework. god knows what might be on tv on Sunday.

crazy lizard, it's spring!

2005-03-08T21:14:00.000-05:00

I’m making chili because I’m FREEZING. And I just turned the hear up past 62 degrees, and when Katherine comes home she’s going to complain about me wasting heat. BUT I’M NOT WASTING IT!! IT’S MAKING ME WARM!!

I was thinking yesterday morning and this morning that spring was finally here, I could feel it in the rain; the way the air was wet and warm like an aquarium. But then it got hella cold and now there’s an ice storm. Thanks, Boston, I appreciate surprises.

Nevertheless, I have faith that spring is coming. And everything is looking up. And I’m making chili. All is well.

Spring break’s over and that’s bad, I’m 23, and no longer a tot, and that’s bad, but spring break was wonderful (with a few exceptions: DOG EATS CIGARETTES, LIFE DISSAPOINTS) but otherwise a magical experience. So good to see Lana (not to mention my family, Jenn, Sarah, Ralph, Vanessa, etc.)

Back in Boston now, for the duration. But a couple highlights. I was impressed with Boston’s majesty for the first time, we had dinner and drinks at the Hub for my birthday, on Monday. Not only do they have AMAZING martinis, but the Hub is at the top of the Prudential Center, and it has wrap around windows, so you can really appreciate Boston. And for the first time in a long time, it seemed like a city without limits.

Special thanks to sanni for putting it all together, and to all the honey loves that came out for me. Besos, besos.

Additionally in the highlights section: I BOUGHT TICKETS TO JAPAN!! I’m going from May 15 until May 29 (the entirety of my ‘summer’ vacation). And I really couldn’t be more thrilled, literally, I’m going to crush every bone in Clarity’s body, fold her into my suitcase, and bring her home. (not her home, my home. Bwa ha ha ha).

Prostitutes are cheaper than wives

2005-03-01T12:00:00.000-05:00

merry merry march! i'm taking a break from my criminal law outline to update ye olde blog. now i don't know if it was simply the death of February and the promise of spring in 3 WEEKS, or some quality time with a novel, a lot of wine and enough sleep to shake the possibility of hangovers, BUT i am feeling much much better than i've felt in months. much much better. it might just be being home. or the possibility remains that being home reminds me, "at least i don't live here. and teach english at Garfield High." WHICH is NOT TO SAY that teaching isn't noble, and perhaps preferable to my overly sought overly granted JD HOWEVER, living in VA, with MY parents, teaching english to kids who would hate me (because i'm genius (wink wink)) would probably suck my soul out faster that a C&D. (ha ha ha abortion joke.)

Supreme Court made the state's right to kill kids illegal. so that's nice. Scalia, bless his heart, wrote a 24 page dissent. They did use funny logic, and so his dissent harps on their justification that the public want us to stop sentencing kids to death. (if the people wanted to stop sentencing kids to death, the public wouldn't sit still for it. clearly though, everyone is crazy and wants everyone else to die.) and if the court is guarding against majoritairian oppression is the court doing it's job by sidestepping the legislature, doing what the people want before the people do it? Probably not. The way we, socially, as evidenced by our laws, think kids can't consent to sex, but CAN make an informed decision to murder that would be punished by death seems like a more compelling argument. But nevertheless. That's 70 less children America is going to Systematically murder. Pretty fucking hott. HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOUSSEF!!! HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

related comments: people keep wishing me a happy birthday. Several people. Which is appropriate b/c my birthday is up and coming.. But i get the impression that people think it's RIGHT NOW, or has been. Not the case people. Consult the stars, my bday is DAYS away.

101 rottweilers

2005-02-28T17:03:00.000-05:00

my new hair and my mom's great big rottweiler's apparent fear of me has started my dad in on a series of cruella deVille jokes... which is fine, if not humiliating. Mostly fine. Never the less, i wouldn't mind making a coat out of the fur of hundreds of soft puppies. Only if i could avoid injuring the puppies, of course.

snow followed me to VA (yay) which means restrictions on me leaving my parents house are more stringent than usual. Nothing limits autonomy like natural disaster. So far today I've eaten a muffin, taken a bath, and called all area book stores in pursuit of The Warren Court and blah blah blah. No luck. The bad news is that it's practically five. And i got up at 7:30. i feel devastatingly useless.

if i had more energy and less shame i would fill you, dear reader, in on my meeting with my adviser from Friday. But, you'll have to ask me, you won't be able to glean that sort of information without personal contact.(i'm not failing out of school or walking away from school or anything of any interest.) However, i can selectively illustrate your version of my life.

I'm reading Tom Robbin's Still Life with Woodpecker which has me stuck on peachfish and outlaws. it's so good. so much better than jitterbug. and it's nearly done. and i'm going to have nothing to read on the way home, you know besides the PILES AND PILES of Conlaw/lcd nonsense i have to catch up on. i just referred to Boston as home. sadpants.

2005-02-22T23:04:00.000-05:00

i'm supposed to be reading criminal law about getting out of jail b/c yr crazypants. instead, i posted pictures of my mom's new dog.

Honestly, there is no way anyone who hasn't met my mom, at the very least, could ever appreciate how RIDICULOUS her acquiring a NEW large unruly dog is. it would help you even move in understanding if Domino, rest his soul, ever bit you or mistook you for steak or a burglar.

and you're missing out. very few people are irresponsible ("crazy") enough to keep a vicious animal, for no other reason than spiting disgruntled girlscout troop leaders and making your children's lives AWKWARD, but my mother is no ordinary lady. keep in mind that ownwers are strictly liable for their vicious animals, at least in the civil context. and without details, or puncture wounds, you're never going to get it.

in all fairness for the last 2 years he was kicking it, Domino RARELY did anything more than growl and gum. Hardly vicious. Then again he was 17 years old.

2005-02-22T22:57:00.001-05:00

she needs a big fucking dog, she's an old lady.

2005-02-22T22:57:00.000-05:00

le doggie under glass

RIGHT NOW, they're paying me.

2005-02-22T17:39:00.000-05:00

so all in all a lovely wknd w/kirsch. i wish she lived here, or i lived there (philly) or SOMETHING. either way.

unfortunately, Today is, "LOOK how hard it is NOT TO SMOKE DAY." all i want to do is chain smoke til i throw up, or check into a hospital thus cleverly avoiding my schoolwork. I'm at work now, and i should be "doing something" but my supervisor's boss is out of town and she's encouraged me to "do my own thing for the next two weeks" she likely means my own school related things, but, clearly, you win some, you loose some. i'm going to try to post a picture of my mom's dog BEFORE i leave work. riiiiiiiiiiiiight now.

KIRSCH IS IN BOSTON

2005-02-19T19:54:00.000-05:00

i was so bullshit pissed at lawschool AND Boston, but now that jenn is here i am SO CALM and not crazy furious. :) so nice to see her. all we managed to do today was go buy a router for the internet at my house, (WHICH STILL DOESN'T WORK!!) and have lunch. now we're just checking email at school. there's always tomorrow to be productive.

i bought my SUPER FABULOUS SPRING BREAK TICKETS. To Virginia. To go to church with my mom...and rent movies with my dad. i sure do *love* spring break, but whatever, i need to start on my outlines and i need to get out of Boston. And mommy and daddy will only pay to have me shipped to their house. as much as i'd love to use spring break as an excuse to kill brain cells and spend some QT in Mexican prison, this is for the best.

in super funny news... MY MOM ADOPTED A ROTTWEILER. Yes that's right. My sweet little church lady mother NEEDED (and so acquired) a rottweiler. She's also in a gang.

whatever, i still have no dog, and no prospects for getting one, so i think I'll get a TV.

all of the sudden: i just can't get enough

2005-02-17T17:00:00.000-05:00

which is odd because I’ve been so bad about posting... but here I am ADDICTED!! I'm at work, I just made a hair appointment at Liquid Salon to get my hair did on Wednesday!! I'm really excited because i have hideous black (they look black, they're really just light brown) roots to compliment my lovely white hair...Since I’m going darker, it takes a lot of self control not to just do it at home...HOWEVER what if it turns light orange? I need some cathartic yelling if i have pastel colored hair with darker roots...so therefore, I need to go to a salon, this isn’t about results, it's about accountability.

I'm supposed to be working on a letter to the faculty about the office of academic program's blackboard course, but this seems like such a crap shoot. if i were a faculty member (read: absurdly old lady) and I got a letter about how i need to start posting shit/checking a blackboard course, I’d use the memo as toilet paper, to put it one way.

I was thinking about buying a television. Stupid BU kids got runover by the T near my house and I had no idea. If that doesn’t speak to the necessity of television I don’t know what ever might. The other thing is now that we have paid for internet in the works we will so have EXPENSIVE CABLE WITH CNN AND CNN2!!! I can’t even imagine a better use of my time than watching the CNN stockticker…

Some other kid has a bog (well CLEARLY lot’s of some other kids have blogs) but anyway, some other kid that my friend Dan knows (we’re using the word “friend” tentatively as Dan and I are currently in day 2 of our “you’re insensitive asshole man/you’re inconsiderate bitch girl” fight) but nevertheless, some kid he knows has a blog that devotes an ENTIRE post to berating the LIVESTRONG bracelets. To which I say, “Unoriginal kid, I just want you to know, I’ve been hating on the LIVESTRONG nonsense much longer and MUCH MUCH more effectively than you have FOR A VERY LONG TIME.

kirsch is coming TOMORROW!!!

unsung

2005-02-17T12:57:00.000-05:00

so long absent. Apologies apologies. Besides the complete lack of internet connection in my house because my EVIL neighbors caught on to my "your wireless is my wireless" game and locked their account thus preventing my internet theft, school has also been keeping me busy. Funny thing, school was so horrifically awful, that it actually required more effort than stupid shitty finals.

not much is new. Boston’s getting warmer...although snow is expected this wknd, BUT I'm celebrating our 45 degrees above zero with flipflops and no coat. I'm hard core addicted to vanilla chi tea lattes, I’m drinking too much again. Legal practice is over. We got our grades and they didn't necessitate me dropping out. All is well. More later, I need to catch up on conlaw real quick, obtain some chi and some lunch and get myself to class.

REAL QUICK: KIRSCH IS COMING FRIDAY!!!! I simply cannot wait!

i think i might be in love

2005-02-01T17:26:00.000-05:00

so one of the tragedies of my life is that my asshole landlord forbids pets... but you can't let contracts hold you back...i mean technically i think i could break my lease over the "non habitable conditions" of my unshoveled walk. or i could at least talk crazy shit about it, which, as we know, is the my ONLY lawyering skill...buzzwords.

anyway, about being in love. a friend of a friend, john's sister's friend (look john, LOOK!! you made blog!!) rescued a baby doggie who needs a home... and i need to give something a home. So all the sudden, in a way that it hasn't been in days, getting a dog is a very real possibility. (the express prohibition in my lease against pets was holding me back and forcing me to get an iguana. which is also not allowed, but i could use it to scare slumlord greg, and if not scare, than menace.)

additionally, it would be semi hectic to get honey love puppy from Delaware (incidentally Delaware is my LCD state (a sign from JC HIMSELF about destiny? i think so)) to Boston. but anything is possible...and john seems like he's game to help.

decisions are paralyzing....i was going to let you look at pictures but blogger is ass, and will only let me post pictures if they are hosted somewhere else. Ass ass ass! Well I’ll work on that, OR email me and I’ll email them to you. He looks like a real sweetie—all fluffy and back and sweet with wispy fur and a heart of gold. Some sort off hodgepodge terrier baby.

Problems include that he’s NOT of the genital-less persuasion, so we’d have to have him “altered.” I know Bob Barker is all about your pets not having babies, and it isn’t that I want him to have babies, but you know, I’d be damn pissed if I were missing parts.

In unrelated news, I saw someone wearing an ugg poncho, and I was like OH GOD. Who does that?!?! And then I got closer (this was on my walk to the T this morning) and do you know who it was?? CHRISTINE PARVAN, now she didn’t have her wheely backpack anymore and I can’t tell you what’s worse, wheely backpack, or UGG PONCHO. If you’re unfamiliar ugg poncho it is a perversion of a sherling, as in what would happen if a pair of UGLY uggs and a tattered poncho/Mexican blanket got it on. Doesn’t that sound dreadful??

Well, fashion tragedy aside, Christine and I rode the T together, but she bailed when it ran over a baby and was delayed 40 minutes. I, being lazy and inconveniently located, remained on the smelly T while the driver corrected the situation by honking the horn and telling everyone, “SHUT UP. WE AREN’T GOING ANYWHERE.” All in all a good morning.

A very special HAPPY BIRTHDAY to (in alphabetical order b/c there are so goddamn many of you) BRENDI (V’s mom) LANA ZHOVTIS, SANNI HULL, & SARAH ILER. Hope all of you have it very very merry and bright.

I gave myself Coffee Fever

2005-01-29T13:00:00.000-05:00

Boston hurts more than usual today. which is annoying. Sanni is out of town, and no one lives by me and i have a lot of work to do but all i want to do is go to the public market buy yummies (vegetables) and then watch a really depressing movie. i would prefer to not be alone, but clearly, that isn't one of my options. this brings us to an important point. I NEED A DOG!! submitted for your approval, this week’s doggie crush(es):

http://www.petfinder.com/pet.cgi?action=2&pet=3938465
or:
http://www.petfinder.com/pet.cgi?action=2&pet=3920835
or the funniest:
http://www.petfinder.com/pet.cgi?action=2&pet=3901085

there was a lady who was on the T who had a 1/2 boxer 1/2 german short hair pointer and i was like I LOOOOVE your dog. i need a dog. and she asked me if i had time for it and i told her yes, because CLEARLY i have nothing but time. but then she found out i was in lawschool and she's an neu alumni and she was basically like, you'd be retarded to get a dog right now.

So I’m going to get this iguana instead.

snowday

2005-01-26T15:21:00.000-05:00

Today is my second snowday of the week, Monday was the first, because boston just isn’t coping with the snow pile-on. I know snowdays are a blessing but its annoying that I drug my ass all the way to school in the snow, sat through one class and then had the rest of school cancelled. This is a really bad week for work; tons and tons, and I kind of need to get cracking. But nevertheless, now I get to do Con-law from bed. Right after I finish my post and stop eating cookie dough ice cream

Sanni and I celebrated snowday by taking the C line to Trader Joe’s and then a cab to our respective houses. I should have bought NOTHING as I need NOTHING. Instead I bought wine and framboise and olives stuffed with jalapeno peppers and green tea and Costa Rican coffee and mochi and god knows what else. I don’t know what’s with me an olives lately. I love love love love them. And I’m martini happy too, but I never have any vermouth. It really isn’t the same w/o vermouth.

I met with this lady Wendy who is in charge of the MPH program I’m considering applying to and was like, “Wendy, should I get an MPH.” and the bitch said that it’s a decision I need to make on my own. BITCH. What I need to do is get a guidance counselor and a nanny and a paralegal.

I think I figured out why I don’t like criminal law. Everyone seems to love it so much b/c it’s interesting and engaging…and the reason I think it istn sitting well with me is because it’s all about judging people’s decisions. I don’t know when I developed this reisistance to value judgments, but I really cant believe that our whole criminal justice system is so paternal and fixated on negative consequences for a lot of what amounts to bad decision making. BAD DOG!! BAD DOG!!! How sophisticated is that? But if you read the common law that the penal codes rose out of, it relies on all these concepts like, “the abandoned and malignant heart” and “wicked disposition,” which seems nonsensical and not like the stuff justice is crafted from.

Nevertheless, here we are.

i almost forgot

2005-01-22T09:45:00.000-05:00

so i was going to keep it a secret, but that, CLEARLY, isn't my style. I've decided to apply to Tufts MPH program to get a mph concurrent with my JD. which is exciting. but it may be bullshit.

1. i can't tell if i really want a MPH. clearly i am unhappy with JD and with it's limited ability to be "useful". For example, Sanni sometimes has to pinch herself bc she JUST CAN'T BELIEVE she's REALLY in law school. Alternately Sanni frequently has to pinch me to make sure I'm not sleeping in class. This isn't where i want to be, and if practice is anything like this, being a lawyer can blow me. (I'm not saying it isn't interesting. It is, but everyone is so fucking arrogant and manages to bring up torts doctrine all the time in crim, EVEN THOUGH Williams has repeatedly told us that THIS ISN'T TORTS. and I'm so afraid that I'm that annoying too, but my head is shoved up lawschool's ass so far i can't tell.

2. MPH is a challenging science based degree, not a cure all for dislike of lawschool.

3. i would essentially be taking a year off from lawschool to do this and switching rotations.

just don't know.

Saturday morning

2005-01-22T09:02:00.000-05:00

All my good vibrations about Wednesday night had no staying power over the week and I'm doing an ass job settling into Boston and not mope-ing. Worse still, my sassypants won't come off, and i just end up being a major bitch to everyone (without even trying).

sanni and i did join the gym for classes, and i was all set to do cardio kickboxing, but instead I'm going to wash my sheets and mop my room. i made coffee and I've read the Times, so that means it's time for Saturday to get moving.

last night sanni and i got dinner and drinks after we mitten-shopped with limited success. i almost bought a black jacket with a ruffle running full circle around the lapel. But the ruffle stood straight up and reminded me of a clown collar...so i passed. when i say dinner and drinks i meant we split an appetizer and cheesecake and overdrank.

i love sanni, so much. If for no other reason than yesterday she told a story, the punchline of which was, "i ate a pedophile's cheesecake." which i hastily scribbled drunkstyle on a receipt. Brilliant. She also doesn't read this. Which means i can control for her perception of me. (that's a goddamn lie, sanni is standing too close for pretending.)

that's the funny thing about le blog, le online diary. what the ass? if you told me that i wanted to have a public diary i would have balked. but when i make my own under the guise of self indulgence, i just can't stop.

so, you know whatever.

2005-01-19T00:25:00.000-05:00

i thought getting back to Boston and
into the swing was going to be ans asskicker. not so. class today was
not bad at all and then i had the best evening ever.

i had thought that i had mismanaged my finances into oblvion, leaving
my checking account $277 OVERDRAWN. not the case. my checking account
actually has money in it!! i just can't do math!!

then i baked banana wheat bread and cookies. and my UPS saga, which i
would have carefully detailed to you at great length turned out to be
moot because they delivered TODAY!!! and my dresdendolls CD is in the
mail. and sanni and i are going to start going to gym classes. and i
got an hour and a half of free (really effective) therapy from
kirschykins. and sanni and i are going to go see Bad Education
tomorrow at 10.

AND, i;m not kicking the dog idea. sure i can't have a three-legged
pit bull b/c someone's already snatched him up, but there are dogs out
there for me!! like this one, let me know what you think:

http://www.petfinder.com/pet.cgi?action=2&pet=3849573

tomorrow will never be as good as today. but today was good enough
that i can ride the endorphins for 48 hours.

untitled

2005-01-17T18:07:00.000-05:00

i'm making an attempt to post over
email, forgive me if it's shitty.

it's snowing hard and i fell twice in the snow. the second time i
dropped my wallet, of no consequence, really, in terms of money. but
no drivers licence would have been le ass, particularly when i made an
attempt to fly w/o it tomorrow. "ID? who needs ID?"

back to reality earlypants tomorrow. no classes 'til 12, my legal
writingamajig is canceled 'til Wednesday @ 8:30. no pasa nada.

because your candle burns too bright, i almost forgot it was twilight.

2005-01-16T16:24:00.000-05:00

"Traveling more often is important for your health and happiness" it wasn't from my fortune cookie, but i think, i would buy an argument that, perhaps, it should have been.

I'm feeling a little less frayed, although not well, in the traditional happy way we think of well, since my mini-spontaneity trip. i need to break myself of the habit/attitude/nonsense that it's Boston that's making me miserable. It's me that's making me miserable, not circumstance, not happenstance, not the people around me.

i bought new shoes. Replacement black stilettos, and then light pink round toe kitten heels. One hundred percent fabulous. I also bought a brand new law school bag, that looks like it could easily hold *2* casebooks @ once!!! this way, i won't feel like all the tots on the T are judging me as my backpack has a tendency to do.

Back to real life early tomorrow morning. busy day for some laundry and a little homework.

tuesday

2005-01-12T01:08:00.000-05:00

Today should have been the best day ever because we watched a movie in Con. Law. But it wasn’t because I’m having the problem where everyone is condescending. I should clarify. I think everyone is being condescending because I’m oversensitive and overtired. And I think I have a sinus infection so I drank a lot of emergen-c and went to work and screwed around on myspace when I should have been napping or whatever. And we started the morning off wrong with a little Kelly Lux action. You know when someone is trying to help you but instead of helping they’re stabbing you in the face? That’s the kellylux-experience. (K.L. is my absurd new legal practice TA) (legal practice was designed by something horrible to teach me how to write like a lawyer, but I don’t care and I don’t want to know how to write like an advocate I want to play table tennis).

Today my dad insinuated that a correlation could be drawn between my plot to get a dog and the reasons 15 year old girls have babies. Thanks, dad. For the record he was referring to loneliness and the feeling that your life is empty NOT a desperate attempt to make one’s baby’s daddy one’s own. Clearly if I were to seek being unsingle beginning my “45 year old lady with 34 cats” animal collection now would not be productive means.

Have we addressed the all new high dropout rate from law school? It makes me nervous. As in there are choices. I’m just not acknowledging them. Oh and me and my sinus infection just burned the bananabread.

Oh, children, i'm sorry i've neglected you!!

2005-01-10T23:27:00.000-05:00

School’s heating up and keeping me beat, you know how it is. Ass.

Anyway… I think I’m going to get a dog. A puppy in particular!! A Pointer puppy specifically. A lovely dovey puppy. I have a “unique opportunity" to get a snuggly bunny doggie (who would, presumably, fill my empty shitty life with laugher and love). But I’m not home all that often… and I’m lazypants. So chances are I don’t need an ultra active crazypants dog running around my house and eating my shoe empire. But then again…how often do you do something stupid?

Thoughts? Comments? Questions? Intention to report me to the ASPCA if I accuire le doggie??

iwanttogotoJapannow.nottomorrow,notinmay.

Smile like you mean it.

2005-01-05T19:37:00.000-05:00

I got a January t pass yesterday, so now I can be carefree in my travel choices. Don't let anyone tell you that there isn't a lot of stupid shit you can be grateful for. I'm investigating getting a second job...bc I’m wicked poor and I MUST GO TO JAPAN. SO I could either teach high school age youth to read in a literacy program, or I could work at the graduate school for nursing. Not sure what the best option is. I'll keep you posted.

I'm also having a big dilemma. Should I get a TV? now... I can't really afford a tv...but i could throw some xmas money i have at it...and then it would be like $40. AND i already pay for cable... AND my house is really empty and a TV would produce noise... and everyone knows that nothing scares criminals and vagrants away like noise form the TV, except of course a tape recording of a dog barking. Clearly my tape player is broken.

Clearly I’m bored. People in my criminal law class today were like, of course it’s okay to torture the children of terrorists because WE NEED TO KNOW WHERE THE BOMB IS AT!?!?! It felt like mob violence in a gothic novel…where you’re punished generationally for whatever came before. I was absurdly pissypants all day over shit like that. It takes so much effort to get re adjusted to being in school all day…all I really wan tot do I eat candy and drink the diet gingerale...but there’s none to be had. Le sigh.

Going to providence TOMORROW to see Baby James for the evening. Beyond excited about nothing and everything.

i miss my life! i HATE IT here.

2005-01-03T20:57:00.000-05:00

So i got in from my semi elongated winter break today at noon. took a $40 cab to my goddamn house. Bill and Adrienne moved out over break, which is fine, contgratulations guys, get out of hell. BUT the fuckers left a shitton of their possessions and garbage behind but TOOK MY CANOPENER. I hardly slept at all last night and my flight was soo early and even though i only went to one of my classes i'm already feeling wicked overwhelmed ABOUT EVERYTHING. (i missed two classes. shhhhhh.)

After thanksgiving i was all anxious to get back to Boston. i was eager to be home and this felt like home. But all the ROC/philly excursions have brought the ache back. Everyone always hates on Rochester, but Cibon is like a fucking night club these days, and MAGNOLIAS? god help me. oh and vanessa. I'll never be able to explain all of what's right with stupid rochester, and i'm sure it's personal and about people not as if the dying rust belt is where it's @.
So NYE was amazing. AMAZING. Thank you one and all to all my lovelies, jenn, ralph, sara, and burke. Usually nothing ever lives up to expectations-i guess that's why I'm always so friggen hesitant about everything. But everything about the last couple of days of last year, and the first couple days of this year WERE an absolute dream. Nothing like what i anticipated but then more than i ever really could have.

people, we've gotta talk

2004-12-29T20:11:00.000-05:00

I have to stop watching CNN. This morning the Washington post had the dead in Asia and East Asia estimated at 58,000. Now, this evening the new york times is up to 76,000. how is the death toll jumping 20,000 per day?? What are you even supposed to make of that sort of massive death? and Susan Sonntag is dead too.

i mailed clarity her love box today...and although it weighed 4lbs. 5oz. it cost $36 and change for the post office to cart it half way around the world. Now, in all fairness...i sent it "global express priority" so it should be there by Tuesday, but my options were $23 for 4-6 WEEKS OR $36 for 3-5 days. How the hell are you supposed to choose 4-6 weeks? What kind of delayed gratification bullshit is that? Bitch would be calling me to say thank you and I'd be like, "who the fuck are you? What box?" Whatever. Postage for clarity is worth it. I'll just start selling drugs or spanking pussy.

I don't even know what spanking pussy means.

That said, i really like Tom Robbins. He's amazing. AMAZING! When i was younger i went through this religious pioneer fiction phase [STOP LAUGHING] ANYWAY in these pioneer books with religious slant the protagonist always found jesus and was like "Wow jesus is really great" and i have always wished i hadn’t heard of jesus until i was an adult so i could really appreciate the mysteries of faith and not be so jaded about it. But alas, i have crazy religious parents, hence the prairie jesus fiction, so no dice. The point is that's how i feel about tom robbins. and i'm greatful to have found him ever, even later in life. b/c i'm old. brilliant.

my stupid fucking blog is fucking annoying me

2004-12-28T01:19:00.000-05:00

I've lost the ability to control the size of my blog font, so i'm feeling "rather" uninspired & by that i mean pissypants.

ANYWAY. I'm working on sending a package to Clarity in Japan. but it's mostly a demonstration of what a shitty/overtly practical friend i am. Merry Christmas homesick honey love, have:
"fancy tampons"
"this previously viewed copy of spiderman 2"
"more fancy tampons"
"unscented deodorant"
"black hair dye"

i swear that these are not only things that she wants, but things that she can use. i encourage you all to go abroad, (after you've started your myspace accounts!!) and i will mail you similar carepackages on major holidays and your birthday. (note: i am unlikely to remember your birthday unless you are an ex patriot).

I kind of miss Boston... i kinda think that means i hate myself. I don't think it's Boston per se, but lawschool (that's dreadful) and by law school... i mean purposeful hustle and bustle.

By the way... i haven't smoked in FIVE days. That's longer than many people have been alive. When i told Sanni, she insinuated that i "wouldn't make it" with her shoving cigarettes and vodka down my throat when we return to the Boston. But I'm feeling semi resolute. Virginia is the land of cheap cigarettes and I'm holding on...it might be the oppressive parental supervision, but i say fuck off naysayer.

you know what sucks?

2004-12-28T01:12:00.000-05:00

besides you? Unreadable trash, like Tom Wolfe's new book "I am Charlotte Simmons" It may be the worst representation of college age people ever assembled by a crazy old man. I really really realy wouldn't recommend it. As a matter of fact, if you email me (jennifer.n.smith@comcast.net) i will wrap it and mail it to you free of charge before it gives my other books herpes.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.

2004-12-26T10:48:00.000-05:00

i just went to church for the THIRD in 48 hours, if that doesn't say happy birthday baby Jesus, i don't know what does. I was all drowsy face in church because hunter called me wastedface last night at 3am. That was the 2nd drunk dial i received yesterday (anna banana also got wasted and called me to share her experience.) It makes me kind of sad, b/c i have no VA friends, so if i were to get shithoused here, it would be a "very drunk and very alone in the living room" experience. and while i miss alcohol and some of the best times in my life revolve around trying to convince mi madre that "THAT IS, in fact, NOT MY VOMIT on YOUR WHITE COUCH!!" i just can't get excited about drinking alone (right now). I think that this means, i'm more mature and NOT an alcoholic, OR my liver & soul are working in concert to detox, Or more likely, my tolerance is kick-ass and a bottle of wine doesn't make me knock things over like it used to...thanks lawschool, thanks drinking before bed as the only means to a sleep not terrified by estoppels.

ANYWAY. EveryONE, everybody, all of you, go sign up for myspace! (http://www.myspace.com/) HURRY. i need an army of friends, IMMEDIATELY!!) i don't want to waste my valuable extremely bored downtime looking for people i think i might know. I'll help you take a blurry closeup of your ugly face so you can use myspace to meet boys/jesus/unicorns.

Feliz Navidad!!

2004-12-25T13:04:00.000-05:00

Merry merry christmas avid and intrepid readers of my blog!! I hope the holidays find you merry and well and bright.

I'm visiting my parents in VA for xmas, and my sister is in Canada with her "new husband" and his family for christmas, so it seems like we're pretending more than anything else. They [Leslie and Darryl] might be back before i go to Philadelphia to see Jenny for newyear's, so i may see them again before next thanksgiving.

Rochester was lovely, as only Rochester can be. Nothing much worth mentioning. There is a very real possibility that Vanessa has a Carbon Monoxide leak in her apartment...When I'm there i just want to lie on the floor and contemplate sleeping or, alternately, just sleep. I've never been so lethargic in my entire life-worse than the most intoxicating foodcoma. But lovely to see the lovelies; vanessa, sara, jenny, kathleen, jennyweiss, eric, ralph, blah blah blah. V & i have matching lesbian promise rings now. which is a nice/creepy touch.

Vanessa also thinks my blog is dumb. Clearly she doesn't understand the joy my blog brings you!! Tell vanessa she's wrong, tell Vanessa you love the blog!!

I talked to clararose this morning from Japan. She's well and everyone in Japan is Buddhist and a jerk. Then i immediately tried to buy plane tickets to Japan in May, BUT they were $1,300. So if you're interested in giving me some $$ so i can go see clarity in JP, contact me jennifer.n.smith@comcast.net. If you pay to send me to Japan i will put together a "multimedia presentation" (slideshow) that i will come to your living room and show you. just tell me that you wouldn't pay to have me show you slides of japan in the comfort of your home.

so, what kind of people do you meet in law school?

2004-12-13T22:59:00.000-05:00

this type of people:

http://obviouslyfabulous.blogspot.com/

so that was amanda, we have rival neu lawstudent blogs...

so all this drinking in law school isn't working out

2004-12-13T16:11:00.000-05:00

i am ABSOLUTELY not at all ashamed to say that my civil procedure exam was ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE worse than Brazilian waxing, worse than the plague... If in practice anyone from Switzerland shows up and need my "help" I'm just going to recommend that they flee the country.

anyway... Immediately following Torts, which was "not so bad" on friday we were all "pee yr pants giddy" about he possibility of doing "well" (finishing the semester w/o failing) so we drank for something like 6 hours ... then i slept for a few hours and then work up and putzed around, then went to sleep again got up and studied all day Saturday but then used saturday night as an excuse to get OBLITERATED/shithoused. you know, "slept o n the floor should have thrown up where are my clothes?" -shithoused.

so yeah. right. Sunday was a wash til like 10 pm (did go see Closer, was amazing, as a studybreak though i wasn't really studying)...Didn't get enough sleep and then submitted to all sorts of hackneyed sex crime stereotypes lavished on me by my beloved and most favorite class ever, civil procedure. i loved you civ pro. i don't know how you could do that to me... this sounds like Legends of the Fall or Last of the Mohicans and not my relationship with school.

So property is wednesday, and no amount of work will make that manageable. the lesson learned my friends is as seriously as I am taking this stupid shit, i will have to either up the ante next semester, OR not come back.

AND I HAVE TO COME BACK! BECAUSE I GOT A NEW JOB!! woot woot!! @ the library! @ the circulation desk!! How fun is that?

2004-12-08T13:30:00.000-05:00

today, because i am "stupid" i get to be hungover and at school at the same time which is unusually unfun.

However, last night was a great study break as well as a great deal of fun. as always though, less drinking would have been smart.

I need to get going on torts bc that shit is soon and I'm not ready at all and it makes me the bad kind of nervous. Today is wednesday and 1 week from RIGHT NOW this will all be over, the whole goddamn shitty exam thing will be completely over in just one week, f-a-b-u-l-o-u-s. then break! So what am i doing with my two weeks of no school starting wednesday you ask?

well wednesday, i plan on getting completely shit housed to celebrate the completion of roughly 1/6 of my crappy overly sought degree. then thursday i'm going to cookie-bake, clean, and do laundry. Then on thursday night, we're having super fun legal practice dinner party/ secret santa party, lovely lovely. then Friday I'll pack and leave for the ROC in afternoon for a few days of R&R and to see all my lovelies from my former life as a carefree undergraduate (kirsch is meeting me there!! :) yayayayay). Then I'll be heading home for feliz navidad. post xmas details get shady. i need to decide if it is feasible to bring my car to boston and if i want to do that, also must decide what is going on for nye... i think buffalo is out of the question-would be crazy to head all the way up there... shall see...shall see. then school restarts on January 3... (great.)

Humping

2004-12-07T19:33:00.000-05:00

so i know some 2Ls (girls you know who you are) who are about to make it over the hump. for their sake & the sake of those of you *thinking* about going to law school... a little vocab...

Humping: when a group of students reach the half-way point of their education and begin the equally long, boring, drawn out, and anti-climatic second half of what has become an overly sought and overly granted degree, thus resulting in an only slightly more marketable resume.

eh.

2004-12-07T19:10:00.000-05:00

So last night I got home from grocery at like 12-ish --after being in the library somewhere near 13 hours. needless to say I was a little bit "off" and edgy and I couldn't sleep, so I did laundry and washed dishes and then embarked on "ridiculous egg salad project" that disturbed my housemates. The lesson learned is that although "I do not owe them a covenant of quiet enjoyment" there are appropriate times to bang on things and run the dishwasher but there are also mentally unstable individuals, for whom the law makes no exception and neither, apparently do my friendly flatmates. "let's try to balance these needs." Maybe I'll just try harder to not be such a gross box.

Then today I just couldn't get up, at all. So I was way late to school, missed the torts review, half assed my civ pro practice exam and was generally useless. Now I'm working on torts, working, working, working, working. In just a little bit we're off to get "wings & beer" in honor of little Dakota Fanning's B-day. Notice, the intent of the event is to get "wings & beer" not "obliterated."

with that said, i don't know why the urge to drink (heavily) increases proportionate to the level of importance that I not drink.

addicted

2004-12-06T21:56:00.000-05:00

i think i should, add, that i know that this is a completely narcissistic indulgence. You would be mutually wasting our time to remind me.

You'd be foolish and unrealistic about who i am if you didn't know that most of me is about producing noise. PROFOUND NOISE!

So, do you want to learn a little bit about real property? me too.

There are a number of ways that covenants will not be enforced:

changed conditions- where conditions have changed so drastically that the covenant is of now substantial benefit to the dominant estates. the change must be so radical that it defeats the purpose of the covenant.

relative hardship- a covenant will not be enforced if the hardship to the owner of the servient estate is substantially greater than the benefit to the owner of the dominant estate.

Acquiescence- complaining party cannot enforce a covenant because he has tolerated previous violations of the covenant by the owner of the servient estate.
unclean hands- the complaining party cannot enforce bc he has violated the terms of the covenant.

abandonment - complaining party cannot enforce bc he has tolerated violations by other owners of restricted parcels

estoppel- reliance forms when by verbal agreement the owner of the dominant estate tells the owner of the servient estate that he will not enforce the covenant and then the owner of the servient estate changes her position as a result of the oral transaction.Laches - the covenant has been ignored or breeched for a significant period of time.

wasn't that fun?

2004-12-06T21:05:00.000-05:00

So, jenny weiss has a blog, and i figure, if intrepid journalists share via the internet, so should emotionally crippled law students, right? right.

so here i go. But before i begin i would like to point out that this is "infinitely cooler" than a live journal. and if you give me enough time, i'll be able to explain why. Until then though, hold your breath, start counting, whatever.

right now i've just started reading week of my fabulous first semester of law school. The good news about reading week is that there are no classes. the bad news is that w/o structure i'm doomed to fail. i have all this time to study, and instead, I'm working on my blog. blog. blog. blog.