8.20.2005
I’m spending my last few minutes as the sole occupant of 251 pearl st #3 moping around the apartment. It’s been a crazy eventful week since I lasted posted, and in the lull between my parents leaving and my roommates moving in I’m pouting and sulking.
Finals finished with the calamity that comes only from being inadequately prepared. I think corporations and evidence went very very badly. But administrative law, juvenile courts and labor arbitration went very well. I believe. Or rather I hope. And beyond that it’s useless to worry about it now. Nothing to be done now.
My parents spent the week in Boston because I had my ACL replaced on Tuesday. I’ve had knee surgery before, but I’ll hand it to acl replacement, this is by far, the most painful thing I’ve ever done. Simply unbelievable. but I’m feeling better, and I am heavily medicated, so that helps. I’m also sporting a ridiculous complete knee brace and I have to spend 8 hours a day in my fancy motion machine having my knee bent by robotic medieval technology. Yesterday I had my first post surgery shower. And we changed the bandages and all I have to say is, that if this gets infected and they cut off my leg and I spend the remainder of my years wearing polyester pants to conceal my artificial limb, or tooling around in a wheelchair, I am going to be bullshit. BULLSHIT.
Aside from general post-op discomfort and finals trauma hangover, my most pressing concern is loneliness. I don’t know why, these days, but the same gnawing nagging loneliness that was eating me in January and February is back again. It might just have been living in the new apartment alone, or it might just be that with the summer rotation I haven’t been seeing a lot of people who I enjoyed previously, and the missing pieces feel heavy. Or it might be that now that this is home, I am a little more than sad to leave Boston behind and by loneliness I really mean dread. Or it might be the cyclical feeling that creeps up on me every few months where I remember that the people I want to rely on most will likely be the people I can count on least— that sort of reliable devotion that I am willing to give can’t be found where I most want to find it.
and i am a writer, a writer of fictions. i am the heart you call home. i've written pages, upon pages trying to rid you from my bones.
Finals finished with the calamity that comes only from being inadequately prepared. I think corporations and evidence went very very badly. But administrative law, juvenile courts and labor arbitration went very well. I believe. Or rather I hope. And beyond that it’s useless to worry about it now. Nothing to be done now.
My parents spent the week in Boston because I had my ACL replaced on Tuesday. I’ve had knee surgery before, but I’ll hand it to acl replacement, this is by far, the most painful thing I’ve ever done. Simply unbelievable. but I’m feeling better, and I am heavily medicated, so that helps. I’m also sporting a ridiculous complete knee brace and I have to spend 8 hours a day in my fancy motion machine having my knee bent by robotic medieval technology. Yesterday I had my first post surgery shower. And we changed the bandages and all I have to say is, that if this gets infected and they cut off my leg and I spend the remainder of my years wearing polyester pants to conceal my artificial limb, or tooling around in a wheelchair, I am going to be bullshit. BULLSHIT.
Aside from general post-op discomfort and finals trauma hangover, my most pressing concern is loneliness. I don’t know why, these days, but the same gnawing nagging loneliness that was eating me in January and February is back again. It might just have been living in the new apartment alone, or it might just be that with the summer rotation I haven’t been seeing a lot of people who I enjoyed previously, and the missing pieces feel heavy. Or it might be that now that this is home, I am a little more than sad to leave Boston behind and by loneliness I really mean dread. Or it might be the cyclical feeling that creeps up on me every few months where I remember that the people I want to rely on most will likely be the people I can count on least— that sort of reliable devotion that I am willing to give can’t be found where I most want to find it.
and i am a writer, a writer of fictions. i am the heart you call home. i've written pages, upon pages trying to rid you from my bones.
8.10.2005
a new face
i'm within spitting distance of being 1/2 way done (academicly) with my second year of law school, and it feels great. better than most things ever.
i kicked juvie courts in the tits today (screw you jenny weisz, your exam was cake).
so we have evidence tomorrow in the early am, then it's just a matter of finishing up the admin group doosie, and banging out a labor arbitration brief.
then by friday @ 5 i should be at the cape with merissa and clarity darling. xoxox
i changed the face of my blog, if your curious, because "something" ate the html that made it pretty and i thought that rather than recreate the old magic i might try something a little new a little more fall...
the bad news is as soon as i come back from the cape, it's knee surgery time. and before i know it, philly. pretty fucking exciting. and the leaves are going to change soon. yayayayayay. i'm a little bit smitten with life today.
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i kicked juvie courts in the tits today (screw you jenny weisz, your exam was cake).
so we have evidence tomorrow in the early am, then it's just a matter of finishing up the admin group doosie, and banging out a labor arbitration brief.
then by friday @ 5 i should be at the cape with merissa and clarity darling. xoxox
i changed the face of my blog, if your curious, because "something" ate the html that made it pretty and i thought that rather than recreate the old magic i might try something a little new a little more fall...
the bad news is as soon as i come back from the cape, it's knee surgery time. and before i know it, philly. pretty fucking exciting. and the leaves are going to change soon. yayayayayay. i'm a little bit smitten with life today.