1.29.2005
I gave myself Coffee Fever
Boston hurts more than usual today. which is annoying. Sanni is out of town, and no one lives by me and i have a lot of work to do but all i want to do is go to the public market buy yummies (vegetables) and then watch a really depressing movie. i would prefer to not be alone, but clearly, that isn't one of my options. this brings us to an important point. I NEED A DOG!! submitted for your approval, this week’s doggie crush(es):
http://www.petfinder.com/pet.cgi?action=2&pet=3938465
or:
http://www.petfinder.com/pet.cgi?action=2&pet=3920835
or the funniest:
http://www.petfinder.com/pet.cgi?action=2&pet=3901085
there was a lady who was on the T who had a 1/2 boxer 1/2 german short hair pointer and i was like I LOOOOVE your dog. i need a dog. and she asked me if i had time for it and i told her yes, because CLEARLY i have nothing but time. but then she found out i was in lawschool and she's an neu alumni and she was basically like, you'd be retarded to get a dog right now.
So I’m going to get this iguana instead.
http://www.petfinder.com/pet.cgi?action=2&pet=3938465
or:
http://www.petfinder.com/pet.cgi?action=2&pet=3920835
or the funniest:
http://www.petfinder.com/pet.cgi?action=2&pet=3901085
there was a lady who was on the T who had a 1/2 boxer 1/2 german short hair pointer and i was like I LOOOOVE your dog. i need a dog. and she asked me if i had time for it and i told her yes, because CLEARLY i have nothing but time. but then she found out i was in lawschool and she's an neu alumni and she was basically like, you'd be retarded to get a dog right now.
So I’m going to get this iguana instead.
1.26.2005
snowday
Today is my second snowday of the week, Monday was the first, because boston just isn’t coping with the snow pile-on. I know snowdays are a blessing but its annoying that I drug my ass all the way to school in the snow, sat through one class and then had the rest of school cancelled. This is a really bad week for work; tons and tons, and I kind of need to get cracking. But nevertheless, now I get to do Con-law from bed. Right after I finish my post and stop eating cookie dough ice cream
Sanni and I celebrated snowday by taking the C line to Trader Joe’s and then a cab to our respective houses. I should have bought NOTHING as I need NOTHING. Instead I bought wine and framboise and olives stuffed with jalapeno peppers and green tea and Costa Rican coffee and mochi and god knows what else. I don’t know what’s with me an olives lately. I love love love love them. And I’m martini happy too, but I never have any vermouth. It really isn’t the same w/o vermouth.
I met with this lady Wendy who is in charge of the MPH program I’m considering applying to and was like, “Wendy, should I get an MPH.” and the bitch said that it’s a decision I need to make on my own. BITCH. What I need to do is get a guidance counselor and a nanny and a paralegal.
I think I figured out why I don’t like criminal law. Everyone seems to love it so much b/c it’s interesting and engaging…and the reason I think it istn sitting well with me is because it’s all about judging people’s decisions. I don’t know when I developed this reisistance to value judgments, but I really cant believe that our whole criminal justice system is so paternal and fixated on negative consequences for a lot of what amounts to bad decision making. BAD DOG!! BAD DOG!!! How sophisticated is that? But if you read the common law that the penal codes rose out of, it relies on all these concepts like, “the abandoned and malignant heart” and “wicked disposition,” which seems nonsensical and not like the stuff justice is crafted from.
Nevertheless, here we are.
Sanni and I celebrated snowday by taking the C line to Trader Joe’s and then a cab to our respective houses. I should have bought NOTHING as I need NOTHING. Instead I bought wine and framboise and olives stuffed with jalapeno peppers and green tea and Costa Rican coffee and mochi and god knows what else. I don’t know what’s with me an olives lately. I love love love love them. And I’m martini happy too, but I never have any vermouth. It really isn’t the same w/o vermouth.
I met with this lady Wendy who is in charge of the MPH program I’m considering applying to and was like, “Wendy, should I get an MPH.” and the bitch said that it’s a decision I need to make on my own. BITCH. What I need to do is get a guidance counselor and a nanny and a paralegal.
I think I figured out why I don’t like criminal law. Everyone seems to love it so much b/c it’s interesting and engaging…and the reason I think it istn sitting well with me is because it’s all about judging people’s decisions. I don’t know when I developed this reisistance to value judgments, but I really cant believe that our whole criminal justice system is so paternal and fixated on negative consequences for a lot of what amounts to bad decision making. BAD DOG!! BAD DOG!!! How sophisticated is that? But if you read the common law that the penal codes rose out of, it relies on all these concepts like, “the abandoned and malignant heart” and “wicked disposition,” which seems nonsensical and not like the stuff justice is crafted from.
Nevertheless, here we are.
1.22.2005
i almost forgot
so i was going to keep it a secret, but that, CLEARLY, isn't my style. I've decided to apply to Tufts MPH program to get a mph concurrent with my JD. which is exciting. but it may be bullshit.
1. i can't tell if i really want a MPH. clearly i am unhappy with JD and with it's limited ability to be "useful". For example, Sanni sometimes has to pinch herself bc she JUST CAN'T BELIEVE she's REALLY in law school. Alternately Sanni frequently has to pinch me to make sure I'm not sleeping in class. This isn't where i want to be, and if practice is anything like this, being a lawyer can blow me. (I'm not saying it isn't interesting. It is, but everyone is so fucking arrogant and manages to bring up torts doctrine all the time in crim, EVEN THOUGH Williams has repeatedly told us that THIS ISN'T TORTS. and I'm so afraid that I'm that annoying too, but my head is shoved up lawschool's ass so far i can't tell.
2. MPH is a challenging science based degree, not a cure all for dislike of lawschool.
3. i would essentially be taking a year off from lawschool to do this and switching rotations.
just don't know.
1. i can't tell if i really want a MPH. clearly i am unhappy with JD and with it's limited ability to be "useful". For example, Sanni sometimes has to pinch herself bc she JUST CAN'T BELIEVE she's REALLY in law school. Alternately Sanni frequently has to pinch me to make sure I'm not sleeping in class. This isn't where i want to be, and if practice is anything like this, being a lawyer can blow me. (I'm not saying it isn't interesting. It is, but everyone is so fucking arrogant and manages to bring up torts doctrine all the time in crim, EVEN THOUGH Williams has repeatedly told us that THIS ISN'T TORTS. and I'm so afraid that I'm that annoying too, but my head is shoved up lawschool's ass so far i can't tell.
2. MPH is a challenging science based degree, not a cure all for dislike of lawschool.
3. i would essentially be taking a year off from lawschool to do this and switching rotations.
just don't know.
Saturday morning
All my good vibrations about Wednesday night had no staying power over the week and I'm doing an ass job settling into Boston and not mope-ing. Worse still, my sassypants won't come off, and i just end up being a major bitch to everyone (without even trying).
sanni and i did join the gym for classes, and i was all set to do cardio kickboxing, but instead I'm going to wash my sheets and mop my room. i made coffee and I've read the Times, so that means it's time for Saturday to get moving.
last night sanni and i got dinner and drinks after we mitten-shopped with limited success. i almost bought a black jacket with a ruffle running full circle around the lapel. But the ruffle stood straight up and reminded me of a clown collar...so i passed. when i say dinner and drinks i meant we split an appetizer and cheesecake and overdrank.
i love sanni, so much. If for no other reason than yesterday she told a story, the punchline of which was, "i ate a pedophile's cheesecake." which i hastily scribbled drunkstyle on a receipt. Brilliant. She also doesn't read this. Which means i can control for her perception of me. (that's a goddamn lie, sanni is standing too close for pretending.)
that's the funny thing about le blog, le online diary. what the ass? if you told me that i wanted to have a public diary i would have balked. but when i make my own under the guise of self indulgence, i just can't stop.
sanni and i did join the gym for classes, and i was all set to do cardio kickboxing, but instead I'm going to wash my sheets and mop my room. i made coffee and I've read the Times, so that means it's time for Saturday to get moving.
last night sanni and i got dinner and drinks after we mitten-shopped with limited success. i almost bought a black jacket with a ruffle running full circle around the lapel. But the ruffle stood straight up and reminded me of a clown collar...so i passed. when i say dinner and drinks i meant we split an appetizer and cheesecake and overdrank.
i love sanni, so much. If for no other reason than yesterday she told a story, the punchline of which was, "i ate a pedophile's cheesecake." which i hastily scribbled drunkstyle on a receipt. Brilliant. She also doesn't read this. Which means i can control for her perception of me. (that's a goddamn lie, sanni is standing too close for pretending.)
that's the funny thing about le blog, le online diary. what the ass? if you told me that i wanted to have a public diary i would have balked. but when i make my own under the guise of self indulgence, i just can't stop.
1.19.2005
so, you know whatever.
i thought getting back to Boston and
into the swing was going to be ans asskicker. not so. class today was
not bad at all and then i had the best evening ever.
i had thought that i had mismanaged my finances into oblvion, leaving
my checking account $277 OVERDRAWN. not the case. my checking account
actually has money in it!! i just can't do math!!
then i baked banana wheat bread and cookies. and my UPS saga, which i
would have carefully detailed to you at great length turned out to be
moot because they delivered TODAY!!! and my dresdendolls CD is in the
mail. and sanni and i are going to start going to gym classes. and i
got an hour and a half of free (really effective) therapy from
kirschykins. and sanni and i are going to go see Bad Education
tomorrow at 10.
AND, i;m not kicking the dog idea. sure i can't have a three-legged
pit bull b/c someone's already snatched him up, but there are dogs out
there for me!! like this one, let me know what you think:
http://www.petfinder.com/pet.cgi?action=2&pet=3849573
tomorrow will never be as good as today. but today was good enough
that i can ride the endorphins for 48 hours.
into the swing was going to be ans asskicker. not so. class today was
not bad at all and then i had the best evening ever.
i had thought that i had mismanaged my finances into oblvion, leaving
my checking account $277 OVERDRAWN. not the case. my checking account
actually has money in it!! i just can't do math!!
then i baked banana wheat bread and cookies. and my UPS saga, which i
would have carefully detailed to you at great length turned out to be
moot because they delivered TODAY!!! and my dresdendolls CD is in the
mail. and sanni and i are going to start going to gym classes. and i
got an hour and a half of free (really effective) therapy from
kirschykins. and sanni and i are going to go see Bad Education
tomorrow at 10.
AND, i;m not kicking the dog idea. sure i can't have a three-legged
pit bull b/c someone's already snatched him up, but there are dogs out
there for me!! like this one, let me know what you think:
http://www.petfinder.com/pet.cgi?action=2&pet=3849573
tomorrow will never be as good as today. but today was good enough
that i can ride the endorphins for 48 hours.
1.17.2005
untitled
i'm making an attempt to post over
email, forgive me if it's shitty.
it's snowing hard and i fell twice in the snow. the second time i
dropped my wallet, of no consequence, really, in terms of money. but
no drivers licence would have been le ass, particularly when i made an
attempt to fly w/o it tomorrow. "ID? who needs ID?"
back to reality earlypants tomorrow. no classes 'til 12, my legal
writingamajig is canceled 'til Wednesday @ 8:30. no pasa nada.
because your candle burns too bright, i almost forgot it was twilight.
email, forgive me if it's shitty.
it's snowing hard and i fell twice in the snow. the second time i
dropped my wallet, of no consequence, really, in terms of money. but
no drivers licence would have been le ass, particularly when i made an
attempt to fly w/o it tomorrow. "ID? who needs ID?"
back to reality earlypants tomorrow. no classes 'til 12, my legal
writingamajig is canceled 'til Wednesday @ 8:30. no pasa nada.
because your candle burns too bright, i almost forgot it was twilight.
1.16.2005
"Traveling more often is important for your health and happiness" it wasn't from my fortune cookie, but i think, i would buy an argument that, perhaps, it should have been.
I'm feeling a little less frayed, although not well, in the traditional happy way we think of well, since my mini-spontaneity trip. i need to break myself of the habit/attitude/nonsense that it's Boston that's making me miserable. It's me that's making me miserable, not circumstance, not happenstance, not the people around me.
i bought new shoes. Replacement black stilettos, and then light pink round toe kitten heels. One hundred percent fabulous. I also bought a brand new law school bag, that looks like it could easily hold *2* casebooks @ once!!! this way, i won't feel like all the tots on the T are judging me as my backpack has a tendency to do.
Back to real life early tomorrow morning. busy day for some laundry and a little homework.
I'm feeling a little less frayed, although not well, in the traditional happy way we think of well, since my mini-spontaneity trip. i need to break myself of the habit/attitude/nonsense that it's Boston that's making me miserable. It's me that's making me miserable, not circumstance, not happenstance, not the people around me.
i bought new shoes. Replacement black stilettos, and then light pink round toe kitten heels. One hundred percent fabulous. I also bought a brand new law school bag, that looks like it could easily hold *2* casebooks @ once!!! this way, i won't feel like all the tots on the T are judging me as my backpack has a tendency to do.
Back to real life early tomorrow morning. busy day for some laundry and a little homework.
1.12.2005
tuesday
Today should have been the best day ever because we watched a movie in Con. Law. But it wasn’t because I’m having the problem where everyone is condescending. I should clarify. I think everyone is being condescending because I’m oversensitive and overtired. And I think I have a sinus infection so I drank a lot of emergen-c and went to work and screwed around on myspace when I should have been napping or whatever. And we started the morning off wrong with a little Kelly Lux action. You know when someone is trying to help you but instead of helping they’re stabbing you in the face? That’s the kellylux-experience. (K.L. is my absurd new legal practice TA) (legal practice was designed by something horrible to teach me how to write like a lawyer, but I don’t care and I don’t want to know how to write like an advocate I want to play table tennis).
Today my dad insinuated that a correlation could be drawn between my plot to get a dog and the reasons 15 year old girls have babies. Thanks, dad. For the record he was referring to loneliness and the feeling that your life is empty NOT a desperate attempt to make one’s baby’s daddy one’s own. Clearly if I were to seek being unsingle beginning my “45 year old lady with 34 cats” animal collection now would not be productive means.
Have we addressed the all new high dropout rate from law school? It makes me nervous. As in there are choices. I’m just not acknowledging them. Oh and me and my sinus infection just burned the bananabread.
Today my dad insinuated that a correlation could be drawn between my plot to get a dog and the reasons 15 year old girls have babies. Thanks, dad. For the record he was referring to loneliness and the feeling that your life is empty NOT a desperate attempt to make one’s baby’s daddy one’s own. Clearly if I were to seek being unsingle beginning my “45 year old lady with 34 cats” animal collection now would not be productive means.
Have we addressed the all new high dropout rate from law school? It makes me nervous. As in there are choices. I’m just not acknowledging them. Oh and me and my sinus infection just burned the bananabread.
1.10.2005
Oh, children, i'm sorry i've neglected you!!
School’s heating up and keeping me beat, you know how it is. Ass.
Anyway… I think I’m going to get a dog. A puppy in particular!! A Pointer puppy specifically. A lovely dovey puppy. I have a “unique opportunity" to get a snuggly bunny doggie (who would, presumably, fill my empty shitty life with laugher and love). But I’m not home all that often… and I’m lazypants. So chances are I don’t need an ultra active crazypants dog running around my house and eating my shoe empire. But then again…how often do you do something stupid?
Thoughts? Comments? Questions? Intention to report me to the ASPCA if I accuire le doggie??
iwanttogotoJapannow.nottomorrow,notinmay.
Anyway… I think I’m going to get a dog. A puppy in particular!! A Pointer puppy specifically. A lovely dovey puppy. I have a “unique opportunity" to get a snuggly bunny doggie (who would, presumably, fill my empty shitty life with laugher and love). But I’m not home all that often… and I’m lazypants. So chances are I don’t need an ultra active crazypants dog running around my house and eating my shoe empire. But then again…how often do you do something stupid?
Thoughts? Comments? Questions? Intention to report me to the ASPCA if I accuire le doggie??
iwanttogotoJapannow.nottomorrow,notinmay.
1.05.2005
Smile like you mean it.
I got a January t pass yesterday, so now I can be carefree in my travel choices. Don't let anyone tell you that there isn't a lot of stupid shit you can be grateful for. I'm investigating getting a second job...bc I’m wicked poor and I MUST GO TO JAPAN. SO I could either teach high school age youth to read in a literacy program, or I could work at the graduate school for nursing. Not sure what the best option is. I'll keep you posted.
I'm also having a big dilemma. Should I get a TV? now... I can't really afford a tv...but i could throw some xmas money i have at it...and then it would be like $40. AND i already pay for cable... AND my house is really empty and a TV would produce noise... and everyone knows that nothing scares criminals and vagrants away like noise form the TV, except of course a tape recording of a dog barking. Clearly my tape player is broken.
Clearly I’m bored. People in my criminal law class today were like, of course it’s okay to torture the children of terrorists because WE NEED TO KNOW WHERE THE BOMB IS AT!?!?! It felt like mob violence in a gothic novel…where you’re punished generationally for whatever came before. I was absurdly pissypants all day over shit like that. It takes so much effort to get re adjusted to being in school all day…all I really wan tot do I eat candy and drink the diet gingerale...but there’s none to be had. Le sigh.
Going to providence TOMORROW to see Baby James for the evening. Beyond excited about nothing and everything.
I'm also having a big dilemma. Should I get a TV? now... I can't really afford a tv...but i could throw some xmas money i have at it...and then it would be like $40. AND i already pay for cable... AND my house is really empty and a TV would produce noise... and everyone knows that nothing scares criminals and vagrants away like noise form the TV, except of course a tape recording of a dog barking. Clearly my tape player is broken.
Clearly I’m bored. People in my criminal law class today were like, of course it’s okay to torture the children of terrorists because WE NEED TO KNOW WHERE THE BOMB IS AT!?!?! It felt like mob violence in a gothic novel…where you’re punished generationally for whatever came before. I was absurdly pissypants all day over shit like that. It takes so much effort to get re adjusted to being in school all day…all I really wan tot do I eat candy and drink the diet gingerale...but there’s none to be had. Le sigh.
Going to providence TOMORROW to see Baby James for the evening. Beyond excited about nothing and everything.
1.03.2005
i miss my life! i HATE IT here.
So i got in from my semi elongated winter break today at noon. took a $40 cab to my goddamn house. Bill and Adrienne moved out over break, which is fine, contgratulations guys, get out of hell. BUT the fuckers left a shitton of their possessions and garbage behind but TOOK MY CANOPENER. I hardly slept at all last night and my flight was soo early and even though i only went to one of my classes i'm already feeling wicked overwhelmed ABOUT EVERYTHING. (i missed two classes. shhhhhh.)
After thanksgiving i was all anxious to get back to Boston. i was eager to be home and this felt like home. But all the ROC/philly excursions have brought the ache back. Everyone always hates on Rochester, but Cibon is like a fucking night club these days, and MAGNOLIAS? god help me. oh and vanessa. I'll never be able to explain all of what's right with stupid rochester, and i'm sure it's personal and about people not as if the dying rust belt is where it's @.
So NYE was amazing. AMAZING. Thank you one and all to all my lovelies, jenn, ralph, sara, and burke. Usually nothing ever lives up to expectations-i guess that's why I'm always so friggen hesitant about everything. But everything about the last couple of days of last year, and the first couple days of this year WERE an absolute dream. Nothing like what i anticipated but then more than i ever really could have.
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After thanksgiving i was all anxious to get back to Boston. i was eager to be home and this felt like home. But all the ROC/philly excursions have brought the ache back. Everyone always hates on Rochester, but Cibon is like a fucking night club these days, and MAGNOLIAS? god help me. oh and vanessa. I'll never be able to explain all of what's right with stupid rochester, and i'm sure it's personal and about people not as if the dying rust belt is where it's @.
So NYE was amazing. AMAZING. Thank you one and all to all my lovelies, jenn, ralph, sara, and burke. Usually nothing ever lives up to expectations-i guess that's why I'm always so friggen hesitant about everything. But everything about the last couple of days of last year, and the first couple days of this year WERE an absolute dream. Nothing like what i anticipated but then more than i ever really could have.