it's just me and the Ho-TUB!

I haven’t done homework in essentially as long as I haven’t posted on my blog. And sitting in my favorite fourth floor study room thinking about the Crummey Trust problem set and the mountain of family law reading I have to do I thought I would update my blog. Just in the off chance someone is still reading it.

First and foremost: I cannot tell you WHERE – but suffice it to say I got a very special job at a medium sized (big for the location) firm in Hawai’i. So as of august 24 – if you’re writing to reach me – you’ll have to send it to the south pacific.

I have no idea where in hawai’i I’ll be living besides SOMEWHERE on Oahu. So if you have any suggestions or are in a position to help me, please please help me. I don’t think even paradise will assuage the grief of being homeless.

What else is new – I’m in class. I’m probably failing – but there’s no way to be certain at this point. I’m only eating cinnamon scones right now. I’m never hungry for anything – but every morning – it’s the only thing I want. FUCK cereal. And god bless ABP. Sometimes I get an egg and cheese. But I’m on a new kick where I don’t want to eat white bread all the time (ignore the scones) and so I wont let me have delicious eggie on a Kaiser roll – only wheat toast, and less face it – at that point – we’d all rather be eating the scone.

Jon’s moving soon – so I’m doing my best impression of a dedicated broker making a month’s fee in cold hard $$$, only for free and instead of thinking critically about my impending move to Hawai’i.

You know – I imagine when I get to hawai’i and I am ALL alone and living in the worst apartment known to god or man – that I will at least be blogging tons more. Something to look forward to, no doubt.

I’m lonely today. Very lonely. I anticipate a lonely weekend. Amanda’s going to Maryland, smasters will be in LI for a wedding. Sanni’s booked through and through with all sorts of junk (that I’m not interested in – by merit of the company she keeps when unsupervised.) so I think it looks like I’ll have the opportunity to stare blankly ahead from my living room. It feels like such waste – 7 weeks (I think) until I leave to be completely alone and I can’t even manage to do anything. Maybe I’ll see a movie.


today is my last day of work!!

And as such is my last opportunity to be paid to blog for the foreseeable future. Classes start again on Tuesday and I’m a seeing them as a little bit dreadful, right now. The thing is, I’m moody. So I don’t like the idea of going back to school right now but I might like it a bit better in 15 minutes.

I dropped my phone in a glass of milk the other day. I wrote an email asking everyone who’s email addresses I had to send me their phone numbers, it went like this:

"dear beloved all,

i dropped my phone in a glass of milk last night. you're not going tobelieve this, but my pink phone was not milk proof and is now stickyand not working.
rather than ask me "how" i managed to "accidentally" drop my phone ina glass of milk, email me your phone number so i can call you from a pay phone and complain.
seriously though, i will not pick up phone calls if i don't know thenumber, and i can't call you. so if you'd ever like to hear my sweetsweet shrill voice again, pass along your digits.

best, jenni"

The award for funniest response goes to one paul sennot who (in the relevant parts) said:

"Dear Ms. Smith,

I realize that you have probably received 12 snarky email replies already; Iwill not write #13...although just so you aren't disappointed in me pleaseknow that I have at least 10 great jokes about this situation already (theypretty much write themselves).
I am sorry to hear about your phone. Cell phone problems totally suck andpayphones have germs.
A friend of mine works at sprint and can hook you upif you have/switch to sprint. Let me know and I can put you guys in touch.My number: XXX.XXX.XXXX


P.s. Okay just one: I can also get you in touch with a guy who sells sippycups...the tops are super convenient for keeping phones and whatnot out ofyour milk and you can get them in pink. That or a switch to juice boxes isprobably your best bet.....Love uuuuuuu."

i bought a new phone, though, and AS SOON AS I figure out how to turn it on, i'll start calling people.

In other news, I’m gearing up for summer!! As such I was checking out neu’s “summester” calendar. (I love puns, you can’t quarrel with a great pun.) there is a bunch of SUPER FUN stuff coming up SOON, and I was excited, so I was asking jon if ANY of it interested him. That line of questioning resulted in me writing the following FABULOUS play:

your boyfriend no longer prefers your company.

a play in one act.

me: i have many many ideas for fun things we could do for cheap all summer long!!! (bounce bounce!!)
jon: but i am le tired, and the bus aggravates my gout!


that's just the way it happened too! anway. I’m sure we can have fun without aggravating his gout. back to le grind.


i could make you pay in pain, but i could never make you stay. not for all the tea in China.

I want to go buy obscenely expensive mascara from macy*s. it’s that sort of day. I hate how my dissatisfaction with my circumstances melts my rage against capitalism. And I guess that’s a pretty good reason to worry about my commitment to my values.

Thank god for the magnetic fields. If it’s not acceptable to curl up under my desk at work, I at least like that I can listen to the musical equivalent of a hysterical breakdown. One week of work left.

Anyway the point is, I can’t go to macy*s. Sanni won’t go with me. She’s busy with her brief and only wants to go if she can return this thing (I say “this thing” because although we always talk about returning it, I actually have no idea what it is) she bought a million years a go that she doesn’t have with her today. So I cannot go at all because the danger of me having a hysterical breakdown in macy*s is high, and if you’re going to implode, you shouldn’t be wandering around alone in public. This is why we have the buddy system. The buddy system ensures that nobody melts down alone.

i could make a career of being blue, I could dress in black and read camus. smoke clove cigarettes and drink vermouth. Like I was seventeen.

In other news, I’ve decided the lower 48 bore me. And as such I will now be attempting to co-op in Alaska or Hawai’i. it doesn’t matter what kind of law, as long as it’s somewhere exotic. Clarita extended a kind invitation to host me at Berkley this fall. So that’s also in the cards. And California is someplace where I might actually consider living even though I’ve never been there. (artic-attorney-jenni or beach-attorney-jenni both aren’t very realistic)

I think that’s it. Smasters and I are going on an epic journey to the city together via bus. I’m splitting time between james and merissa. But there are plenty of citizens of the city that never sleeps that I would like to see. (That’s an open invitation to get in touch while I’m there.) and now i'm sure that's it.


Clown this

i am obviously not on a road trip with one of the attnys since i am obviously blogging at work. So instead of having a little western mass dinner date tonight as previously alluded, i think i'll be going on a run with smasters tonight and then watching the INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT SEASON FINALE OF grey's anatomy. i would like to point out, however disingenuously, that the POINT of me watching grey's is to bond with my roommates. i don't actually enjoy medical soaps. or i do. and my entire life is a sham.

i had super fab weekend. i went to happy hour on friday and saw priti, jess and maria. so that was wonderful. and then i had a wonderful albeit rainy Saturday/Sunday on the cape. and then i rushed home to watch the first 1/2 of the incredible season finale of grey's anatomy. and i have to say. i'll be happy when the season is over. and we can put this whole obsessive tv watching for an hour on sunday behind us.

i think this:
http://www.slate.com/id/2141711/ is the funniest thing i've ever read. i can't tell if it is or not. the 5 summers i spent at clown camp NO DOUBT inform my perception of the value of clown related things.


bounc! bounce bounce!!

I used to do the once a day thing. Now it’s just once a week maybe. I was having a hectic morning, running around accomplishing things filing things and putting things in order. Subpoena SUBPOENA!!

Al the busyness is ODD, if only because while riding the soggy T this morning I thought I would have nothing to do all day today, and I could maybe get started on the back log of legal opinion letters that we “should have been” summarizing all this time. I also need to go to an unemployment hearing on Monday afternoon out in “Milford.” I just looked at a map. That is a dumb place to make me go. Maybe I can meet an unnamed emc employee for dinner in Hopkinton afterwards to be followed by some inappropriate touching in the Home Depot parking lot. We’ll see if we can have that arranged.


In the fine tradition of recounting things that people tell me on gchat, a story from anna t. about being crazy in law school:

"Anna: oh man i forgot to tell you law school gossip so everyone's all stressy faceand our library has the ridiculous policy of not allowing food/drinks that aren't in travel mugs which sucks and people sneak coffee in all the time and then the library people find you and give you a hard time and then you have to throw it out and that sucks so this girl in my section this morning brings in dunkin iced coffe and the library guy is like "you can't birng that into the library" and she's like "F U! F U! I can bring in this coffee! I'm bringing it in!" and she goes to a cubicle and starts working and the guy comes over to her and is like "you need to throw that out" and, again with the F-word and then she THROWS THE COFFEE AT HIM. it hits his shoes (it was iced, no burns or anything) and he walks away and she goes back to work and then the DEANS and SECURITY come in and escort her outside they put a big yellow "caution" sign near her cubicle not before she starts bawling in the library and there are people cheering and chanting and screaming "KICK HER OUT! KICK HER OUT!" it was a mess and then she's outside crying for an hour with the deans because she doesn't want this to be on her record because disciplinary stuff might make you not able to be admitted to the bar or whateverso they just say she can't use the library for the rest of the semester. it's CRAZY. people are FLIPPING OUT."

oh to be young, and a one L!! i'd like to think we keep people like that OUT of the bar. but american loves assholes, so probably not.

if you're one of my real life frineds, ask me about the ass grabber on the train this morning. and come back tomorrow to read my tale of the cannibal fishes.


i'm piss poor at updating this. i would like you to believe it is BECAUSE i am an exellent worker and cannot be bothered with my great internet romance with myself. So please please, believe that. PANDA, who had a has a birthday today,


Had a dream about me last night. Here is her account of it:

"So, ready for the dream? so you [jenni] were working for britney spears--doing pyrotechnics work for her. . .and she fucked something up. . .and she caught you on fire along with herself--well everyone went to help britney and no one went to help you. . .you were severely burned and i [panda] had to take care of you in the burn unit--u were in soo soo much pain. . .i woke up crying. . .it was terrible--there was nothing i could say to you--u would just cry and i was like well. . .at least ur face isnt burned and you still have your hair. terrible. . ."
and that is why from today forward we shall call panda, "the only one who loves me" because she saved me from britney.

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