12.29.2005

A bit grand for you isn’t it, Weaselbee?

So I’m struggling with the concept that even if i had what i THOUGHT would make me happy, i would still be unhappy. Now liz phair has a song about this, and as I remember, the cheeky punch line is, in such case, the problem is you. (in this case you is me, not you. Are you following this? Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure everything is going to be okay. And if it isn’t you/i won’t be able to tell the difference.)

Who remembers when it was in vogue (during college – where everything absurd was socially acceptable and encouraged) to refer to people as “TLOML?” does anyone out there even know what that means? It was also okay to say things like “IHML!!” and “PPM!!” I was going somewhere with this story, but I’ve forgotten where.

I stopped actually keeping a journal a little while a go. Months really. (And public blog nonsense doesn’t really replace actual reflection. I can’t have you knowing what I’m actually thinking. That sort of transparency really ruins performance art.) However, I think not taking copious notes on life leaves me feeling a little frayed around the edges. Nothing a tune-up can’t fix! Unfortunately, I am not a car.



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